Angel.

2007-12-08T14:08:00.000+08:00

i should have known better to rest my voice and throat when it just recovered. this happened just two days ago when i was staying overnight at woon ngiap's place

it all started when i started shouting woon ngiap's name for staining my adidas backpack with mud while riding on his bicycle that evening. there was a certain tone about my voice that made me think i was going to have a sore throat. true enough, my voice started to change after drinking a cup of ribena.

at first no one pointed out to me that my voice had deepened. i tried to convince them that there was indeed something wrong with my voice. none of them seemed to agree with me and passed it off as just my imagination.

until.

i came out of the shower, and when i tried talking to darryn, a hoarse, faint voice came out. i tried again. it was the same old weak and hoarse voice. oh no i thought, the bad throat is coming back. i asked woon ngiap if he had "pi pa gao", i drank two tablespoonfuls, but it didn't help much. it didn't help much either when all of them were laughing at my change of voice. darryn said it sounded like a low female voice, how helpful.

--------------------------------------------------------------

anyway, i just sent my dad to the hospital, he seemed to be having difficulty breathing and fast heart beating rates. i hope he will be okay, i don't want history to repeat itself.

not anymore.

random factoid: i love my family, however complicated it is.

2007-12-05T21:32:00.000+08:00

If i could popularize a phrase, it would be "scared awake".

i had this freakish dream last night. well bizarre would be a better word, but i've no time for this. in the dream there was every single random human being that i've come across. they were all in my school campus, i was there too of course. my family, friends, acquaintances were all there.

apparently in my dream i had the ability to bring people back in time. remember the 26 dec tsunami, well it happened in my dream. but this time, not water, but earth. yes earth, a tsunami of pure soil and rocks and mud.

well the school campus was distorted, more like tunnels after tunnels you have to crawl through. the first scene of terror started when we saw a large wave across the sky - the wave of earth. and the first thing i heard was my mom shouting "that's gonna kill all of us! run!"

and so we did, everyone scurried around like rats, and the building (somehow the school morphed into a building) was about to collapse, with earth falling on our faces. everyone of us cringed, awaiting our destiny - which is to die.

and somehow we landed safely on ground. after that we went to a restaurant for dinner.

ISN'T THIS A BIT STRANGE?! I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY.

2007-11-24T19:45:00.001+08:00

-sniff- yes, go candice!

2007-11-23T21:17:00.001+08:00

2007-11-18T15:29:00.000+08:00

the saga continues..

claire: weren't you supposed to have gotten married by now?

audrey: weren't you supposed to have died by now?

claire: do you want to get rid of me that bad, claire?

audrey: and that's the second time you made that mistake and called me claire! must i remind you that YOU'RE claire, and i'm audrey your twin!

claire: ok how many times must i remind you that this is not a normal soap opera. besides, i'm get a little confused due to a lack of oxygen into my brain.

audrey: you're saying you're still sick and dying?

claire: i just had a little longer time to live, that's all. besides, and i did want to see my twin marry the Shadowtrader.

audrey: well as you see i'm dressed for the wedding today. but i have reason to believe he's not coming.

claire: and why is that?

audrey: i think he grew impatient with my lack of knowledge of the stock market. and he's been distracted, always texting.. i don't know who.

claire: oh really? -cell phone chimes-

audrey: but enough about me, so tell me, your illness is still taking over your body and you're ready to kick the bucket at any time?

claire: -sob- well it's a sensitive subject, and i really not like to discuss about it right now.

audrey: and why is that claire? because you're afraid i'll find out the truth?

claire: what are you squawking about, audrey?

audrey: i know that you're not really dying, claire.

claire: all of us are dying slowly each day..

audrey: i thought i'll help you along then, towards your goal. -takes out water gun from bag and points it at claire-

claire: oh audrey.. -takes out another water gun from bag and points it at audrey- give me some time to defend myself!

-MUSIC-

audrey: don't think that you can get away with killing me.

claire: don't think that you can pull your deadly gun on me.

audrey: i dare you to!

claire: i dare you to!

-SUDDEN FIRING NOISE, PAINED EXPRESSION ON BOTH FACES-

the end of audrey and claire?

... lol.

2007-11-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

Mystery of the tenants - Part 2

weird, thick-skinned tenants that drive me crazy. not to mention that i've been figuring out what that huge yellow talisman stuck on their door was meant for.

anyway, a few days ago i caught the female tenant in a conversation with my mum. and i heard words like "weekends, holidays, family, Malaysia, stay".. and if you linked the words properly, it's not hard figuring what she was talking about.

i got into the room and asked my mum what was it all about. she replied that the couple wanted their family over at our place for a week or so.

being the usual anti-tenant me, i looked at her in a jaw-dropped expression. and the stereotype of malaysian families came : they all have a herd of children. my house is going to be a freaking playground for those kids.

well my stereotype was proven right. just yesterday evening their family came : 2 teenager boys, 1 little girl. well at least the guys were semi-adult - my house would not be a playground, phew.

yesterday in the wee-hours of the morning, when i was still surfing the internet, they all slept in the same room. 5 people sleeping in a room that is like half the size of my bedroom - amazing, isn't it. oh and did i mention that their room is not air-conditioned? they could still sleep with doors shut and window flaps half closed. i'm amazed, really.

and i noticed something too, they all like to slam the door. so if my estimations are right there should be cracks in the wall soon enough. they have the cheek to do that even though my mum didn't charge extra rent for their family bonding activities. i just hope that nothing too appalling would happen. and even if it did my mum, being the usual nice aunty, wouldn't do anything.

that is why i am so worried. i'll be off to camp for 4 days and 3 nights in school and no one would be there to serve as a warning signal to those people. hmmm, maybe i should install phone enabled speakers, then i can be like those announcers you hear in the public trains:

"For your own safety, please do not slam the doors. If you see any suspicious cracks, please inform your landlady, or call 999 to arrest yourselves."

2007-11-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

it seems as if i have the tendency to be anti-social nowadays.

maybe it was the bizarre experience i had with a group of online 3d chatters (imvu). you know, sometimes, it is extremely shocking to see someone come out suddenly to proclaim their everlasting love to you - when you don't even know them in the first place.

and that is why I've developed a certain tactic which guards me from strange online predators, by the first minute, i would have properly analyzed what category these people belong to. and i'm not telling you how. It's just a couple of questions that you ask, not that complicated anyway.

i usually avoid familiar people that i see on the streets when i'm out with another person. call me strange or whatever (maybe loyal?). i just don't engage with small talk with other people when i'm with a friend (with the exception of family, of course).

hmm, maybe you'll think that it is not so much on anti-social. let me suggest another example..

oh no i don't feel like talking anymore. :S

2007-11-16T11:53:00.000+08:00

Video by HappySlip (www.happyslip.com, www.youtube.com/HappySlip)

Morning Meeeest

It's a one-woman show. all characters acted by her, haha.

2007-11-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

just a random thought : do you think time machines will be invented in the future?

well if it is so, how come we don't see any strangely dressed people appearing from any corner of the streets saying "Hi, i'm from the future."

my head spins while thinking about this subject. i just can't get the past, present and future thing sorted out right.

can you?

2007-11-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

i hope this post finds you well. it has been quite a journey hasn't it. three years and counting, we've been through thick and thin. you were always there to allow me to engrave my memories onto you. yet sometimes i put you aside, ignoring and neglecting you. you don't deserve this, i'm sorry! i promise i'll talk to you more often!

well, you've been my best friend so far, not giving up on me, hearing all my thoughts and feelings when all of the other people will not. they don't understand me as well as you do, that's for sure. would you like a major facelift soon? yes? all right, i'll do it for you once i have the time, so be patient there.

to the little tagboard, you have always been the mischievous one, hiding all day at the bottom of my page. i'm gonna drag you all the way up real soon. and er, could you please lighten my job by deleting all spam and hate tags? i just can't be bothered to read them. you can just eat them if you want to, but please don't eat the sweet little sentences that my friends post, thanks.

and to the comment box at the posts: where have you been hiding? i'm gonna dig you out and put you at your place. lastly to the linkages - make sure you direct the traffic back here!

Your Human Counterpart,
Your Human Counterpart.

2007-11-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

15 years ago a child was brought upon this world.

14 years ago he lost his memory.

13 years ago someone who meant a lot to him died.

12 years ago he made his first friend in the nursery.

11 years ago all his friends called him stupid.

10 years ago he made some friends.

9 years ago he graduated from his kindergarten, lonely again.

8 years ago he proved the people wrong by excelling academically, topping the class.

7 years ago he was bullied.

6 years ago he made it into the EM1 stream of the school, still topping the class

5 years ago he remained lonely, friends coming and going, but only one person stayed behind.

4 years ago that person left the world.

3 years ago he tasted his first defeat - he didn't make it into the secondary school he wanted.

2 years ago he finally made some new friends

1 year ago the friends he made remained, and he thought he was happy.

6 months ago he discovered he had a deceased sister, one who died before he was born.
5 months ago he tasted another defeat - the band he was in didn't get the award they wanted and he felt that he was to blame, partially.
4 months ago all his fishes died.
3 months ago he thought of dying.
2 months ago he cried while thinking about his life.
1 month ago he broke down, due to stress and outside elements.

1 hour ago he thought of where he came from, who were his biological parents, why did the birth certificate of him only contained his present mother's name, why does it write "adoptive mother" under the relationship section, why is his father's name not written on it , what exactly happened?

now? these memories are all coming back to him. and he cannot resist it.

2007-11-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

it seems as if i had ignited a blogging craze.

the first one was joel, who called every single day a few weeks ago asking how to do this how to do that. idiot-proof questions were thrown at me, well i guess making a blog is really rocket science to joel. he changed a couple of skins, but finally settled down on a skin of childish nature - spongebob squarepants.

the second person that created a blog was woon ngiap, after seeing that his best friend had created one. his blog was by far the most acceptable among the 3 blogs that i'm going to mention. he treats his blog as a ranting ground, so what i expect to see on his blog would be scoldings from his mum as well as his rantings.

the third person had the most scandalous blog i had ever seen. not surprisingly, it belonged to dong zhen sheng aka dong lao. all his posts are super suggestive and explicit in nature. If i had to rate his blog it would be an M18, although ironic as his blog skin is spongebob squarepants.

something interesting that i found out too. miss tan jy, joel tan stole your big red button. just tap on his link and look at the similarities. even if my blog skin is the same as you it doesn't mean anything, haha. goodness gracious, i'll post up all the links later on.

people, if you decide to traumatize me by opening a blog of your own at this point of time, please do one that is more wilson-friendly, if you know what i mean. well, goodbye.

2007-11-07T16:30:00.000+08:00

Hi Eminem.

Hi SugarBaby.

Sugarbaby's version sounded better =]

2007-11-06T21:15:00.001+08:00

once upon a time there was a man named Hitler.

Hitler was chosen as a leader, because people thought he could lead and bring Germany to greater heights, out of shame and out of blame that resulted from the Treaty of Versailles. Hitler vowed, along with his party, that Germany will be a great country under their rule.

Hitler, indeed, had some credit in bringing Germany back up to life. Germany was relatively strong, but Hitler did not have enough, he wanted more, more, and more for himself - he wanted to dominate the world. and so, he back stabbed whatever allies and friends he got help from. slaughtered potential throne-overthrowers. he even wanted to get rid of the Jews, which had absolutely no power against him at all. mercilessly, he got rid of the Jews through brutal means.

shortly after, the league of nations was formed, but they followed a policy of appeasement. to appease Hitler. but the more that the league of nations appeased him, the more power and authority Hitler craved. in the end, world war 2 broke out. the league of nations failed.

my dear friends, i do not want to be part of the league of nations of the present day. If no one is going to do something about this, I will rise as a counterpart of Hitler which represents justice. for the smarter beings, as well as close friends, you'd have long figured out what this post is all about. (just sub in the names, groups, people, places and events appropriately)

as for now, good night.

2007-11-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

There’s a dog, which lives in the locked glass cage of a pet store just another day gazing away. And though it smiles, there is something just hiding, and it can’t find a way to relate.

It just goes unnoticed, as the crowd passes by. And it’ll pretend to be asleep when inside, it just wants to cry. it’ll say,

Take a little look at the life of an ugly and wretched dog, look a little closer. I really really want you to put yourself in its shoes. Take another look at the face of a depressed and tortured soul, look a little harder, and maybe then you’ll see, why it waits for the day, when you’ll give it a name.

The beginning, it arrived at the pet shop, did everything to try and fit in. But the people couldn’t seem to get past all the things that were wrong on the surface. It would close its eyes when they left as she gets locked again. And the more that this happens, and the more that it does, it retreated to where it is now.. and it’ll sing,

Take a little look at the life of an ugly and wretched dog, look a little harder. I really really want you to put yourself in its shoes. Take another look at the face of a depressed and tortured soul, look a little closer, and maybe then you’ll see, why it waits for the day, when you’ll give it your love.

Then one day, just the same as the past, it spends the day counting the time as it passes, came a boy, who carried it out, hugged it close, and asked for its price...

2007-11-04T19:01:00.000+08:00

went to pasir ris park today with mum, jason and family.

i actually persuaded to jason to take the 2 seater bicycle, so that i could slack in the backseat while he does all the cycling for me. and so i called the uncle at the bicycle rental shop to drag out one.

we got on to the bike. he being infront, me being at the back. we tried to get the bicycle balanced for quite some time, but it seems as if it always slants towards one side. eventually we gave up trying. so much for my plan.

vivian （jason's sis) suggested that their parents took it instead. miraculously, they got it balanced in a mere few seconds. we were flabbergasted.

and so we spent 2 hours riding on bikes, everyone taking turns to lead the way. got into the maze of pasir ris, found our way in and out in only 10 minutes, cursed at the uphills, cheered at the downs.

after all the cycling activity, we drove to a nearby hawker centre to have early dinner.

... ... ...

... ... ...

... ... ...

sorry la this is a filler post. bye.

2007-11-02T10:07:00.000+08:00

i've noticed that there seems to be a missing link between us asians and the caucasians.

just recently reported in the news, three British men had got on to a trishaw that was only meant for two. yet the old man who owned the trishaw did not refuse their absurd actions. instead, he pedalled along the streets. (of orchard? if i'm not wrong) along the way, they mock and make fun of the poor old man who is panting away and trying hard to pedal his vehicle. In the end, when the old man tried to get his payment of $10 from the 3 caucasian men, they offered $5, and then fled off paying nothing. Video here:

yet another thing to be baffled about: how many of you actually know how to answer when an ang-moh comes up to you and says "hey, what's up!" let's list some of the things we singaporeans would say.

1) "nothing."
2) "something."
3) "the sky, ceiling, clouds, birds"
4) "..... (stoned)"

but the perfect answer to that question is "Hi" or "Hello", or not saying anything at all. It's meant to be a rhetorical questions. somewhat like a greeting. The majority of the americans would answer "nothin' much" to answer according to the question. makes sense?

finally, the racism towards us asians by the caucasians ( i got this from somewhere)

Common stereotypes:

- All Asians are martial artists: A lot are, but not all.

- Asians have small eyes: Not true, Asians have tighter skin, whilst Europeans have looser skin. This is also true in the eye region. Therefore giving the impression that Asians have smaller eyes when this is not true.

-Asians are short: This is not genetic and not necessarily true. A lot of Asians are short due to diet. It lacks protein and dairy. It is healthier and hence Asians tend to live longer, but it does not promote physical growth as much. However, for Asians with a "Western" diet, they tend to be just as tall, if not taller than their Caucasian counterparts. A lot of the tallest people on earth are Asian. A famous example is NBA star Yao Ming.

- Asians are smart: This stereotype is actually true. Asians have one of the highest average IQ's in the world. The average Asian American IQ is approximately 120, whilst the Average Caucasian American is approximately 100. However the IQ varies greatly for Caucasians and less for Asians. There is a higher percentage of Caucasians with very high IQ's (around 150) than Asians. Although for every Caucasian with an IQ of 150, there are Caucasians with an IQ of only 50.

- All Asians are rich/poor: There is a stereotype that Asians are either really rich or poor third world people. Since the two conflict with each other, it is obvious that neither is true. There are rich and poor Asians, just like rich and poor White and Black people.

- Asian women are submissive, subservient, sex craving, etc. Asian men are dominating, patriarchal, sexist etc: False! Asian women are given a lot of respect and power by Asian men. Asian women can also be materialistic, agressive and dominating (ask any man who has dated an Asian). Many Asian countries treat women as equals and many women keep their surnames. In Asian culture, it is generally accepted that the man does the talking in public and act gentlemanly, whilst the woman has control at home. In Western culture, it is the opposite. Caucasian women are given the impression of power in public, but is often told that the kitchen is her place at home. "A man's home is his castle" is a Western saying. "Women hold up half the heavens" is Asian. There have been no female presidents, but there have been female emperors in Asia.

- All Asians are "blah": False. Half the world's population is Asian. How can "ALL" Asians (approx. 3 billion people) be any particular thing?

Source : "urbandictionary.com"

take russell peters for example. he once mentioned that asian names are made up by dropping pots and pans down the stairs. another caucasian comedian once said something like "asians can't drive cars because their eyes are friggin' small".

see the missing link now?

2007-11-02T00:15:00.000+08:00

when it comes to the seven deadly sins, there is one that i commit. and it is anger.

i'm easily triggered, and would fly into a rage of fury on the smallest things you could possibly imagine. although most of the time i appear to look peaceful, calm or happy when i start to get pissed, i'm actually building up the potential energy of anger.

today was a bad day, this characteristic of mine unleashed itself without warning, to the extent that i called someone on the phone and blasted at them. i don't even remember what words came out of my mouth.

maybe that is probably why i always get a fever. too much anger hidden within until they generate loads and loads of heat.

ok now... GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.

2007-10-29T22:04:00.002+08:00

2007-10-27T21:42:00.000+08:00

went to wild wild wet theme park with Zhen sheng, Woon Ngiap, Darryn and Joel today, haha, fun experience!

well we couldn't get cameras into the pools.. so there's only two photos!!!

after three times on this ride, we finally got the best photo to bring home with us!! first one everyone's head was down; 2nd one was spoilt by joel. In the 3rd one zhen sheng cued us in for the camera shot, so, all of us posed at it.

After dinner. ;)

well i'm quite tired now.. so. see ya guys soon.

2007-10-27T10:15:00.000+08:00

Taken from http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html and mr fourier ang's msn whisper.

do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? don't be in a hurry to answer. watch her closely. oh if you haven't noticed, you must click on the picture to view the animation

Mediacorp Actresses Raid Catholic High School

2007-10-26T23:22:00.001+08:00

a picture speaks a thousand words. well i have about 7000 words to say. Celebrities are Evonne Lim, Felicia Chin, Patricia Mok, Vivian Lai, Michelle Chia, Michelle Xie
Evonne Lim (Lin Xiang Ping) who acted in my favourite drama (Po Jian Er Chu) as the psychopath-cum-psychiatrist. She was the only one that looked towards my side at this time.and then it was Patricia Mok who brazenly asked " do you think i'm preeety? "I love the expression on her face when someone shouted out "No!!! "
laughing celebrities, yay, this time Felicia Chin and Michelle Xie turned for a candid shot.Yay frontal view! The poster says "Mei Nu, Wo Men Huan Ying Ni" (welcoming the beauties)Another one!
The stars leave for their break :)

2007-10-25T15:14:00.001+08:00

oh my goodness i got accused of being "fat" on joel's blog.

ok, fine, i agree to that to a certain extent. i've been eating a lot lately, so that i can grow taller than someone-who-thinks-hes-taller. my mom complains that i'm too skinny, i think her mentality of being healthy is warped. she thinks that i'm like the skinniest guy in school, which is so not true.

i hadn't been going out to exercise lately, because of the time spent on mugging for the examinations. frankly, i hate to exercise. but if i have to, i'll put away some time for it, which is why i agreed on going cycling with zhen sheng,woon ngiap and joel at east coast park this saturday.

gruesome memories of the sec 3 camp cycling activity still haunts me. the leg cramps, heatstroke, dehydration, mirages.. good lord, the memories are coming back.

yup, i'm determined to burn some calories this saturday, although we might have a change of plans of going to wild wild wet. well, i haven't visited that place, saw photos of it in my two students' house. seems like fun.

In less than 24 hours time the school year would come to an end. Time really really flies ah, i have to say it even though it's cliche. i must catch up on my subjects in the holidays. yes, there will be time for fun and games, also for studies and homework. it's a time of nostalgia again. deepavali coming, christmas coming, new year coming.

Goodbye Sec 3. Welcome aboard, Sec 4.

2007-10-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

I've always been a fan of Candice Michelle (Silver Ring Attire), ah but in the last part she broke her clavicle (shoulder bone) :( , after falling from the top rope. sigh, guess i won't be seeing her on tv for about 2 months.

2007-10-24T21:10:00.000+08:00

newest update!!

joel tan wen rong has a blog!!

http://metroblitz.blogspot.com

2007-10-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

路。有平的，有凹凸不平的。沿着路边，有迷人的风景，同时也有枯燥乏味的石头。

人的一生就仿佛在一道永不间断的道路上走着。走不同的路，就会到达不同的目的地。但有时候，走不同的路，最终还是到达一样的目的地，只是沿路的风景不同罢了。就好像人生的旅程一样。

当然，走不同的路也是有弊有利。一个人可能因一时的懒惰而选择走捷径，之后恍然大悟，发现那条路其实一点都不好走。又或者一个人走一条不少障碍，凹凸不平的路，最后发现那其实是条捷径！这犹如古人说的一句话：“不经一番寒彻骨，焉得梅花扑鼻香！”

在人生的道路上，人是有很多不同的选择的。有些路是先甜后苦，有些路则是先苦后甜。不幸的是，人往往都是沿途才发现这几点的。有些为自己的选择倍感庆幸，有些却后悔莫及。然而，选择走的路因人而异，也可能不是自己选择的。受到外界的影响，有些人甚至会误入歧途。

选择错误的道路可能将害人害己。就拿贩卖毒品的贩毒者来说，自个儿自甘堕落就算了，还要拖别人下水，真是太骇人了！

但是，选择错误的道路有时未必是件坏事。所谓：“经一事，长一智” 路
做错了事，受到了应有的惩罚，之后就会改过自新，重新做人！他们也严加谨慎，以免自己再一次被卷入歧途。

所以当人走到了人生的十字路口时，究竟应该怎样走下去呢？我觉得，最好的办法就是三思而后行。首先要弄清楚状况，思考自己即将走的路是否是正途，是否有陷阱或延伸出的歪路，之后才勇往直前的走下去。不应该人云亦云，随波逐流。

人生道路漫长遥远，就连自己有地图都未必走得容易。哪里是正途，哪里是歧途就取决于我们自己的判断。走错路时也不应该自暴自弃，而是该想法子把自己引回正道。

路。其实它在我们出世时就已经定了形，是父母和先辈为我们开创的。我们可以沿着划出的路走，也可以创造新的途径，开发自己的康庄大道！

2007-10-23T21:08:00.000+08:00

Toilets have been a part of the everyday human life. All people, regardless of race, sex would have to use this wonderful device at least once a day. Failure to comply to these would lead to constipation or bladder infections. Unfortunately, these wonderful inventions do not seem to be readily available in some extreme and unforeseen circumstances. Often on the streets you would see people bending over, face turned pale, and occasionally you would think you heard a horn sounding, when it's actually the person walking next to you contributing to the methane concentration of the air, discreetly

This leads us to a question: How can we ensure that we successfully answer nature's calls each and every time it decides to dial ? and how do we avoid embarrassing situations?

The key to it is the invention of portable toilets.

to be continued...

2007-10-22T19:29:00.000+08:00

i immediately went home today after school, because there was no band rehearsal. all that i can say is "rare'', this going-home-at-2.30pm thing didn't really exist for me on mondays. even if the scheduled dismissal is at 2.30pm, i would find myself staying back in school occupying myself with something to do, often until 4 plus.

the bus ride ride home was one of nostalgia. for the first 5 minutes i stared out of the window, blanked out of reality, thinking about how i used to live my primary school days. and then hanley and the-band-artist (two of my band juniors who play trumpets) came onboard the bus. i asked him about mr quek, the band conductor that i used to have in my primary school days. he had the same conductor in his primary school too. well, i really miss my primary school days :(

when i got back home (grandparents' place), i switched on the computer, checked mail, signed in to msn, updated facebook and friendster account, and watched a few videos on youtube - usual routine for me. soon i found myself dozing off infront of the computer. i didn't knew i could be that tired. and so i went into the room to nap instead. and now i'm horrified that i've slept for almost 3 hours when i planned to take a short 30 minutes cat nap.

oh yeah, and i realised that i sprained my palm in my sleep. how the heck do you do that anyway? i must have swung it at the wall while dreaming, and now it's hurting quite a bit.

2007-10-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

today was the open house for catholic high school. well at the same time we're showcasing the best of the band to the public. i was the conductor for one of the pieces - El Bimbo.

conducting is truly a challenge for me, i must admit. i use to think that conducting was a relatively simple task to do. But no, i am super wrong lor can.

Keeping the tempo in time is always a difficult chore. at fast and exciting phrases the band would rush forward, often you're just taken by surprise. at smooth and flowing phrases the band would suddenly go in a state of lag.

but with the help of the percussion, all these can be solved (collaborating with the percussion section is a must-do for all student conductors). The percussion can screw you up if they want to.

well, now is after the open house. i'm currently at one of my friends' place. Woon Ngiap to be exact. went for a swim, went to play pool. (Darryn Ng is such a pro can!!) i didn't know that there were hidden dragons amongst the crouching band members. oh well, you win some, you lose some, i guess. I got thrashed badly.

and so ah, we spent quite an amount of time convincing our parents to let us stay overnight at Woon Ngiap's place. unfortunately Darryn Ng's mom didn't let him, after 2 hours of intense persuasion and mentions of empty promises. =( it's just not the same without one of us! oh yeah before i forget. Zhengsheng, Joel, Woon Ngiap and I are currently in the same room. Woon Ngiap is doing his chinese practice, Zhengsheng is writing parts of it for him, and Joel lounging on the bed listening to music. I'm here blogging. Haha, well, fun night activities await us.

See ya soon people.

2007-10-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

Britney Spears' Gimme More cover version by Marie Digby

Oh my, a terrible song turned good. =]

2007-10-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

well exams' over. usual mugging routine finally ended. sometimes i get a headache thinking of what to do. hmm, maybe i'll go catch a movie someday, anyone care to join?

post-exams activities were so far so good. with the exception of the inter class games. Oh wait, i really did enjoy that one though. how positively delightful. i ended up dirty with mud, cuts on the knees and elbows. no, i didn't want to choose rugby at the sport, but apparently i had no choice :(

oh yes, if you haven't heard of it, I got a distinction for my grade 8 abrsm flute exam. =] yay. kudos to andrew hansford, your friendly neighbourhood abrsm examiner. So. anyone needs a flute teacher? i'm sure i could teach you the basics, haha. charges apply, however.

and er, yes budget running low, haven't been teaching tuition lately. might wanna resume as soon as possible. i really missed the kids, missed marking a big fat red cross on their scripts, missed talking to them about philosophy when i had full awareness that they did not understand a single thing. Hm, i guess being a teacher is one of my choices in my future occupations. Oh yeah here's the list of my career aspirations

~~Roadsweeper~~
Doctor
Psychologist
Professional Flutist
Teacher
Hairdresser (this one is when my mom needs a jie ban ren)

well, hopefully i'll realise what i REALLY want to be in my education life.

and er. can all readers of my blog make a little post on the tagboard so that i know who you are? you might wanna leave a link too :) thanks.

So now to MY post exam activities: Ask me ANY question you want, be it lame, serious or frivolous. and as far as possible i'll compile a list of Questions and Answers, and then post it up as an entry. well something fun to pass time i suppose. i'm anticipating. Ciao.

Marie Digby - Traffic

2007-10-09T19:23:00.000+08:00

This is the third time this week
that I find myself wandering down your street - and i can't seem to give it up.
I've even stopped making these excuses for why you're stuck here in my thoughts when it's been long enough. I try to keep myself moving, but i'm not going anywhere..

I wait in the same spot
brain like a parking lot
you're the traffic in my head
you're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
like rain on the sidewalk
traffic in my head
you're the traffic in my head
there's just too much to forget

guess i should be happy now
everything is back to how it was
before you came around
i'm already changing
i've even tried to find a new distraction
but still you surround
as if it's not hard enough

and i try to keep myself moving but i'm not going anywhere

I wait in the same spot
brain like a parking lot
you're the traffic in my head
you're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
like rain on the sidewalk
traffic in my head
you're the traffic in my head
there's just too much to forget

a part of me thinks that i'm going crazy
the world's spinning
my vision is hazy
and none of this makes any sense
i never meant for this to end
i can do what i have to do..
if i could only get around you

2007-09-28T16:50:00.000+08:00

i got up this morning, reached out for the little basket beside the bed where i kept all my belongings. yes , the handphone was there, the watch was there. but something was missing, where's the leatherly feel of my wallet?

DAMN IT WHERE'S MY WALLET.

i searched frantically around the room, but it was nowhere to be found. and then i dashed across the corridor, into the living room, where last night i had sat there till 12am to finish up a project. i might have the slightest chance of leaving my dear wallet there.

maybe the tenants (which i loathe) happily took it away.

i really didn't want to make guesses without proof or raise any sort of suspicion, but can you blame me? what else could have happened?

i didn't have much time then, i had to leave the house - was running late!

and so now, after school hours and a mind in deep thought, maybe i was right. they did took it ! i didn't like them; they didn't like me either. So maybe it was them.

So what am i supposed to do now? knock on their doors, club them with a bat then tie them out to interrogate them? maybe not. a more civilised way is to go up to them and ASK. but my mom forbades this idea, she says i shouldn't do this without any proof.

So what the hell am i supposed to do? I've spent the last 30 minutes calling : -

1) POSB - report lost atm card
2) OUB - as the above
3) NLB - report lost library card
4) TransitLink - report lost ez link.

and you know these hotlines have irritating voice recorded systems where you have to press a dozen buttons before speaking to a real life person. some even told me to hold for a freaking 10 minutes, playing Handel's Four Seasons in the background . i could even tell the darn name of the piece.

So now, things to do:
1) search room again thoroughly.
2) interrogate tenants if option one does not work.
3) go to the transitlink office, posb, oub, library to replace cards.
4) vent anger.

okay go away, don't bother me.

2007-09-25T22:05:00.001+08:00

i am so tempted to expose all mediums, tangkees in Singapore right now. and it's all because of a suspected quack that i met yesterday.

So yesterday, at around 8pm or so, my mum, along with my aunt, dragged me along to a temple near Geylang. and let me tell you, it doesn't even look like a temple, it's more like a shophouse. well, you can't beat the power of the aunties - i reluctantly went.

The temple lightings were in the colour of green and red, gimmicks of the temple to make it look creepy i guess. well, later i discovered that the temple was actually worshipping the Hell Guardian - Tua Ji Ah Pek. Go do a google search if you want a more detailed description.

So apparently the medium in there invokes the possession of the god into his body, thus giving him the name "medium", literally. A medium to talk to the gods.

I sat down, patiently waiting for our turn (or rather my mum's turn), crossing my legs. at the corner of my eyes i could see the medium prancing around and dancing in the next room. Occasionally, i swore i saw his eyes open and look at me.

And then it happened, when he went back to his "throne" in front of the altar, he blurted out some words in dialect. Unknowing of what he tried to say, i continued to read my social studies textbook. Coincidently i was on the chapter "Managing different perceptions of religious groups".

"AH BOY AH, PUT DOWN YOU LEG, DON'T CROSS YOUR LEGS"

some uncle shouted that at me in teochew . i gave him a confused look.

"EVEN THE GOD KNOWS YOU ARE CROSSING YOUR LEG"

i stunned. just a moment ago that medium was peeping at me crossing his legs! and now he is making it seem as if he had the 3rd eye. i was disgusted.

throughout the whole waiting time i was sitting there, wondering what the medium had up his sleeves to showcase to these seemingly devoted devotees. i was expecting inhumane stuns like levitation and fire eating, but there were none, to my disappointment. instead, there were:

- Hitting of the fan on the devotee's forehead (i wasn't spared on this one)
- Drawing curves on green printed paper.
- Occasional Singing which was badly out of tune.

I thought it was hilarious - But I controlled myself - I did. Religious tolerance.

By the time i was finished with him, i gave my mum a surprised look, she gave me a surprised look too. We gave each other surprised looks, we laughed, then left.

We didn't expose him, cause we knew it was his way of living =] carpe diem.

2007-09-01T15:30:00.001+08:00

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

2007-08-18T09:26:00.001+08:00

ok let's rewind a little. clearer state of mind, clearer thought projection onto the writing.

Anyway yesterday during POP, when we exchanged gifts amongst ourselves, i was taken aback, when some seniors that i don't even make contact with, actually approached to give me cards and stuff like that. and that made me feel guilty, because i hadn't prepared anything for the seniors i'm not familiar with. they didn't forget me - and yet i forgot about them. argh. i have to redeem myself, if not i'll live with guilt.

and then i went home to open some of the gifts that my seniors gave me. actually, i wasn't that focused on the gifts itself, i was actually scrutinizing the pile for notes and letters. come to think of it, aren't those more precious then gifts? The words, the blessing, as well as the hopes the seniors have for you, isn't it a boost for your enthusiasm towards band and towards life?

one of the funny thing that happened was, my flute section senior cum concertmaster Yun Song actually bought something similar to what i gave him. The gifts were in the form of a letter and a present - same form as mine. The letter mentioned something that i mentioned in the POP video about him - mahjong sessions. Even the gift was similar. He bought me a blue mushroom soft toy, whereas i bought him a red mushroom soft toy, anchored on a wooden stick. coincidence in life? or was it "great minds think alike" ? I live u to think about it, haha.

Well, thank you all seniors, for this cool and cruel 3 years you gave us. It's time to say goodbye, a new legacy begins. Lastly, Thank You For The Music! (i actually forgot to mention this on stage, argh)

2007-08-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hey, finally, fired up and back for more finger flying episodes.

well regarding the black layout that i had for about 3 weeks, i actually lost the skin which is titled "tell me you love me" freak accident, you might say, i accidently (somehow) deleted my own skin.

and so now all the links are gone, with the exception of some which i could distinctly remember. so, for linkages, please tag me on the board with your blog url ya?

okay, i'm actually quite exhausted now, after the whole POP session lasting up till 11pm. for those oblivious to the word "POP", it basically means 'Passing out Parade'. In this case it's the passing out of the band seniors, with all their posts taken over by the secondary 3 batch.

it seems as if 3 years had passed by in just a wink of an eye. the secondary 4 seniors have officially left the band today. the secondary 3s are on their own. we are left to lead to the band now.

on stage, where i was conducting the band for the first time in an official performance, as a student conductor, i could really feel the connection between the band members, the music and me myself. it's truly a great pleasure to be standing on stage, conducting the band and enjoying the music that you are creating together with the band.

and that is what drives my enthusiasm towards band music even further. i love music. i am coo coo for music, i'm basically a music addict! To be general in that sense, i love all genres of music (well maybe not hard rock).

i'm sorry if i'm being all random over here. my fingers seem to move faster than my brain now and my head is nodding off already.

one final thing to mention is the changing of the conductor for the symphony band. i had expected to see Miss Tan Y.H there at the passing out parade today, to attend her farewell party. yet she was nowhere to be found. many band members were disappointed about her absence, including myself.

I'm pondering right at this moment : what exactly has happened?

things just don't seem to be that simple. -to be continued-

2007-07-24T20:47:00.001+08:00

Summary:

English Language - Owned
Social Studies - Owned
Chemistry - Got Owned
Physics -
Music -
Additional Mathematics -
Biology -
Higher Chinese -

Legend:
Owned - Paper was easy and smooth-going.
Got Owned - Paper was giving headaches and worries.

Until this list is complete please expect no posts. Ciao.

2007-07-18T19:40:00.001+08:00

if anyone of you were wondering how cooked human meat smells like. let me tell you, it smells like bacon.

i scalded my right thumb and finger during chemistry lab practical today. upon burning of the finger i smelt the scent of bacon. that's how i got to know the scent of cooked human flesh. maybe you should go experiment other body parts huh, and list down all the different body parts and their cooked scent.

here's how it happened: i was happily heating zinc in a crucible on a tripod stand. i could have sworn i turned the bunsen burner off after heating for approximately 5 minutes. when i tried to take the crucible from the tripod stand, guess what..

the bunsen burner was still turned on at full blast.

thinking that the crucible has cooled to a suitable manhandling temperature, i decided to take it down with my bare hands as my thongs were nowhere to be found. upon touching the crucible, i sensed something was wrong in that mere 0.3 seconds - the crucible was freaking hot. i gasped, and immediately recoiled my thumb and finger. at the moment i gave a high pitched shriek.

i turned on the tap immediately, hoping that running the poor scalded thumb and finger under the water would help, as it said in the first aid books. unfortunately, it didn't. the pain was excruciating. and so i went forward to the teacher's desk. there was a first aid box all opened up, implying that someone got scalded, too.

and then i found out who, it was alvin. just as soon as i picked out a tube of "burnogel", someone came over and blurted out,

"oh where's that nice bacon smell coming from?"

i stalled, and then sniffed the now-already-swollen thumb and finger. indeed, just as i expected, they were cooked, fried, barbecued, teppanyaki-ed, whatever.

a group of friends came over, and i complained to them about the condition, putting the gel on my finger at the same time.

i didn't know they were cannibalistic.

one told me to let him smell the finger, the other attempted to eat it. darn it, cannibals. urgh.

and so for the rest of the day i had this plaster on, and my finger would suddenly hurt very much from time to time. (the thumbs' quite okay now). well then, hope it recovers soon.

for now, my right middle finger is kind of tired, because i usually type with both index fingers, gotta find a substitute for it.

okay then, bye people. if the piece of meat falls off i'll let you taste it =)

2007-07-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

finally, the postings, i have like 5 other entries already written, will post them up soon, meanwhile, read this:

i have this dear friend in my class called Joel Tan.

oh oh,no. please don't be mistaken. this is not another post intended to flame him.instead, this post is to promote him and his non existent good attributes. haha.

i've known joel for about 2 and a half years now. well, if you'd want me to describe him. i would say.. he's quite puny looking although he's around 160cm tall, has big eyes, wears specs and has pink braces. so he practically looks like a kid.

joel has some strange habits, though. he likes to litter around the classroom, then pick them all up when i start complaining that my area is too dirty (i sit beside him, you see) . and no no, it doesn't end here. to my horror, he throws them out of the window. yes, the window, when our classroom is about 5 storeys from ground. till this date he has thrown numerous objects, hazardous and non-hazardous, off the floor just like that. hmm, let me list some, things like crushed up foolscap paper, correction tapes ( that has been brutally mistreated, with the leftover tapes all pulled out and dangling all over the place), plastic bags (hazardous) , and even gummy candies.

once he told me to hold on to a thin plastic tape, while i was doing some mathematics homework. i didn't give much thought and just held on to it with my left hand. i continued to do my work. later did i know that it was connected to the correction tape cover he already threw out of the classroom window. so the correction tape cover was dangling in mid air outside the secondary 1 classroom windows. and I was the one holding onto it. in the moment of panic, i let go.

gosh, i can't imagine if someone saw that happening

sigh, things that kids do nowadays, terrible. just last week he tried to assault our dear physics teacher with a paper ball. when being interrogated by her, he insisted that he was aiming for this guy called shaun raphael in front of us. (i'll tell you more about him later). and so joel, in his miserable failed attempt to kill our teacher with a paper ball, stays silent throughout the entire physics period.

Illustration:

and joel likes to bully this ncc land guy called shaun raphael (earlier mentioned in the post, who narrowly "dodged" the weapon of destruction) . and shaun always give in to his bullies. "don't bully small kids" was what i always said to shaun.
but it's friends like that who cheer you up, who provide the laughter when you need them, unintentionally, of course.

hurray, my jester of the year shall be joel.

2007-06-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

Honey Senpai's 3 Unsweet Days

2007-05-19T19:30:00.000+08:00

Calling All Angels-Jane Siberry

Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Anna, Santa Susannah
Santa Cecilia, Santa Copelia, Santa Domenica, Mary Angelica
Frater Achad, Frater Pietro, Julianus, Petronilla
Santa, Santos, Miroslaw, Vladimir
and all the rest

Oh, a man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
and high above you can hear
the church bells start to ring
and as the heaviness, oh the heaviness, the body settles in
somewhere you can hear a mother sing

then it's one foot then the other
as you step out onto the road of hope
step out on the road
how much weight? how much?
then it's how long? and how far?
and how many times oh, before it's too late?

calling all angels calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels calling all angels
we're tryin' and we're hopin'
but we're not sure how...

ah, and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
why it's ah, it's almost as
if you could only crack the code
then you'd finally understand what this all means

ah, but if you could...do you think you would
trade in all, all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you'd miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving

calling all angels calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels calling all angels
we're tryin' and we're hopin'
but we're not sure...

calling all angels calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels calling all angels
we're tryin' we're hopin'
we're hurtin' we're lovin'
we're cryin' we're callin'
cause we're not sure how this goes

2007-05-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

yikes, i saw the cross dresser again.

this time, he was in mid calf boots, striding around like a vixen at the void deck doing god-knows-what. damn it, why do i keep getting exposed to things like these.

oh and did i mention anything about him being quite old and tanned?

2007-05-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

i've came to the conclusion that : you can't have friends if you don't have enemies.

right, so that guy i talked about has backups from his previous class, and they're planning to go squirming around spoiling my reputation by telling fairy tales to my friends.

oh since i happened to know what they said about me, i shall use their words against them to ensure a balanced argument.

1st guy - you blame it on the composer when you screwed up that piece of music. what right have you got to BLAME the composer that lives probably a few hundred years before you. and get the situation right, YOU started this whole argument.

2nd guy - you blame everyone else to be stupid and retarded and god-knows-what just because you disagree with them. what makes you think your EQ is equally balanced with your IQ ( or rather MEMORY DISK SPACE ) ? put them both on beam balances and you'll find that your EQ would be flipped over by your relatively-humongous disk space. and i pity your lost-in-space EQ.

3rd guy - you judge a situation by the last sentence of an argument, and make that wonderful conclusion based on the last sentence. i mean, are you retarded or blinded by stupidity? and what gives you the right to dislike me? just because you're on their side and want to have the same opinion as them?

well, two ( or rather 6 ) can play this game actually. what makes you think i don't have any backup? think harder.

2007-05-15T17:02:00.000+08:00

ok, this is it. I'VE HAD IT. he thinks that he's the oh-so-great one and expects me to succumb at his knee. well i guess he's definitely barking up the wrong tree, and i mean literally. bitch. since he's out to ruin my life, i shall insult him till his descendants' reputation stinks.

since two months ago, i have 'tried' to put up with his attitude and his way of handling things. i had gone from "okay" to "tolerant" to "wee-bit irritated" to "annoyed" and now i'm stepping straight into PISSED OFF.

just because he's got that slightly cleverer mind, it does not mean that he's brilliant.
just because he's got teachers on his back by being their pet, it does not mean he can treat people like worthless shit when they are not around.
just because he's slightly richer, and more pampered, it does not mean everything has got to go his way.
just because he's got friends and backup, it does not mean he can do this to me.
just because he's in charge of something , it does not mean he's in charge of everything.
just because he's sometimes right, it does not mean that he's always right.

and all that reasons listed above entitles me to give his sorry ass a kick. HE, or that bitch, has got to learn ways of treating everyone equally and fairly. you don't give a chance - don't expect anything good to happen. all right enough of the formal talk, it's definitely not enough to melt your stinking head. here goes. only highlight the below portion if you can stand crude language and you know who i am talking about. if not, kindly refrain from doing so, because they say anger can spread from words :)

HEY YOU MOTHERF**KER, YOU'VE JUST FORGOTTEN WHAT MR THOMAS SAID. HE SAID "CLASS, HAND YOUR IDEAS TO (ME) AND (INSERT YOUR F**KING NAME HERE)" AND I WISH YOUR SEMI RETARDED BRAIN HAS NOT FORGOTTEN THE FACT THAT I AM ALSO IN CHARGE OF THE HOMECOMING PROJECT. YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR F**KING STINKING PAWS ON THE F**KING ADMIN WORK DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN SHOW YOUR F**KING ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME BY PUTTING ME IN A JOB THAT I PREVIOUSLY DIDN'T STATE. AND STOP GIVING F**KING EXCUSES. IT F**KING PISSES ME OFF, YOU UNDERSTAND, BITCH? IS THERE ANOTHER BETTER WORD FOR BITCH? I GUESS NOT. SO, GET A LIFE, BITCH. IS THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SELFISH AND IMMATURE DUE TO THE FACT OF YOUR MISSING CHROMOSOMES? YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME. AND YOU THINK BEING OUTNUMBERED BY YOUR SAME SPECIES WOULD BRING ME DOWN, TRY.

oh the wonderful world of the english language.

2007-05-07T21:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, here am i. reappearing once again to get some words into my blog. it has stayed stagnant for quite a time now because of this busy author you have sitting in front of the computer now. The problem with yours truly is that yours truly does not have the time for leisure activities during the mid year period. and especially if the mid year period is extremely stressful and overbearing for yours truly. yours truly is extremely apologetic to yours truly's blog fan. especially a person by the name of Gary chew :D

well, i'm gonna split today's entry into 2 parts:
- The school/academic areas
- The weird happenings in life

well now for the first part, the academic areas. basically yes, you've guessed, i'm quite stressed over the mid year examinations. well i WAS, considering the fact that everything is well over (except for the music practical part). Life was quite nonchalant, for that two weeks. My weekends were spent mostly at my desk, under the dim desk light, mugging away at the textbook, with the notes flown all over the place. it was quite a sight, if you've seen priests throwing the incense paper all over the floor during a funeral procession. it was nothing less than that. hmm, well start your imagination engines.

- i shan't say anything about the papers -

now that the examinations are over, i'm still feeling quite stressed, over the fact that P.E lessons are resuming. shucks, did i mentioned i hated P.E? as quoted by a teacher and friend of mine "what is so nice being sweaty as a horse". i hate P.E not because of the P.E itself, but because of who's teaching the P.E and the stuff they ask you to do - which i'm totally not good at. The P.E teachers are acting so military-style-like, like the school is Boot Camp or something. Shouting at the students, scolding them right into the face when a slight mistake is done, and not forgetting the nails incident. well i missed the 2 sessions of p.e when the napfa test was conducted. and i might have to do a solo re-test. how great is that. and the P.E lessons falls on wednesday. 1 and a half days and counting as from now. I need help.

Ok, now to the weird happenings in life. I saw a cross dresser. as in, a perverted cross dresser, right at the staircase, about 10 steps away from the door of my house.

all right, the encounter was a month ago, when i was walking home from school after band practice. i took the stairs instead of the lift, since i was only living on the third storey. and there he was. as i advanced up the stairs, i peered through the railing and saw him. he was sitting there at the steps, with garments beside him. garments which were for the female sex. garments like bras, stockings and panties, and some skirts as well.

i couldn't exactly make out what he was doing there but from the sound effects i heard, he was probably sniffing or wearing them.

I walked past him, he gave me an evil grin, those grins that you found in horror movies where the psychotic killers would give to their victims before they hacked them into pieces. i shuddered and almost stared right into his eye. but i did not, i refrained from doing so. well, psychotic killers do have choppers and chain saws with them don't they? except in this case HE only had garments, which of course... can be used to strangle me to death. He then proceeded wearing the clothes. i freaked out on the spot.

and so i scurried up the stairs, not turning back. shutting even the windows. i vowed never to take staircases anymore, unless i see him in the lift.

as for now, time-out. i gotta take a rest. after all, it's time to be slacking slightly anyway. bye.

2007-04-12T15:05:00.000+08:00

Oh well, the syf's finally over.

the results were pretty disappointing, i don't know why it happened, no one did. after the results were announced i cried. yes, i did. not loudly, but it was really painful. i tried to hold my tears back, but it just came out, out of control.

all these times we've been practising our guts out. and this is what we get. well, if this is what the judges have to give for us, i'll accept it. because we truly made music on syf day. no one could have done better. no regrets, really.

hmm, well it's my birthday tomorrow people. anyone wanna attend party? well, the party's not hosted by me. host one for me LA. and to my dear friend, Jie Chou, happy birthday as well. ;)

btw, Just for fun :)

2007-03-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

the most horrible and disgusting thing on earth just happened to me.

apparently, this afternoon (which i spent in school having band training) the people from the ministry of environment had came to fog the place. yes, how did i come to know,you ask.

the reason is simple : because there's cockroach carcasses everywhere.

and by saying everywhere i mean it.

as i arrived at the void deck of my flat, i saw the scene of massacre. every 5 steps i take a couple of new friends would appear. some lie there motionless. some were wriggling all over the place. some were moving its feelers. and some were flapping its wings. they were all struggling to stay alive.

and there i was, taking each and every step with caution, eyes scrutinizing all over the floor, making sure that i didn't step on any, as well as making sure there aren't any which would suddenly crawl clumsily towards me. and now i'm checking the soles of my shoe for any cockroach body parts.

and that's not all. there's a few of them in my living room now. as i'm typing this entry, i can sense evil auras scurrying behind me.

i am deathly afraid of cockroaches. well maybe not that serious. but i know someone else who is. and she's probably reading this as well.

and to my dear friends, if you ever dare play a prank on me involving cockroaches - your days are numbered single digit. =) now let's roll up some newspapers. i need ammunition.

2007-03-22T19:34:00.000+08:00

expect less entries these few days people. 'cos i ain't got the time to update every single day. maybe an entry or two per week from now on, until the end of syf and after all my undone work is completed, then i shall write more.

unfortunately, my flute is damaged. one of the keys had bent slightly towards the right. and mind you, this slight bent, although i hate to say it, makes a huge difference. without the keys in proper alignment, you can't play a single sound out of the flute that requires that key to be pressed down.

and so i passed the poor flute to the technician who had came to the school yesterday. and i hope it comes back in a week's time, in proper condition.

i wonder how the people at the repair centre are going to do it. are they going to hammer the key until it bents back?

well, band overnight camp tomorrow. looking forward to it. i just spent $20 buying a new sleeping bag because the previous one had a mishap.

what? it had a mishap, what.

2007-03-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

Everybody's Fool - Evanescence

perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

2007-03-11T13:52:00.001+08:00

In times of triumph...

2007-03-11T13:26:00.000+08:00

sorry for the missing entries. no inspiration to write for the previous days, guess i'm being too stressed out already.

well, the purpose of today's entry is to write about the exchange program we had with yio chu kang secondary school and dunman high school.

what i previously heard about yio chu kang secondary school and dunman high school was that, the former a typical average secondary school band and the latter a gold band. so i had expected to learn much about this exchange, how the other school bands' standard were compared to us.

so on the exchange day itself, we met the 2 bands. yio chu kang arrived first, then dunman high arrived after a short while. by then our bands had already took our positions on stage, miss tan going through the piece. and my eyes were constantly peering at the two bands, out of curiosity of their actions.

we played our two syf pieces for them - Sunrise and Incantation and Dance. I thought that our performance that day was pretty good. and no, i did not say that out of encouragement/sympathy. we were pretty good. better than usual i guess. the majority of the band members gave their very best. we watched miss tan, we tried to follow her throughout the music, and it turned out pretty good. i was contented with our performance. but as i'm one of the players on stage, i didn't know what the people below thought. maybe they thought alike as me, maybe not.

then the two school bands played their pieces, they had the same conductor, so their style of playing were pretty much the same. i could hear, they were confident. they gave their entire trust to their conductor. their music came through. for that briefest moment i thought they were both better than us.

then i panicked. i worried. we could do better, couldn't we?

i always believed we could do better.

each time every band session ends this thought would come into my mind. and it's this mentality in my mind that pushes me on and allowing me to work harder as a band member and for my band members. and i hope in return, everyone in the band would do the same.

we shall push on, grit out teeths, persevere,strive for the best,nothing less. i know that slacking is sweet to everyone, but i think the Gold w/Honours is much much more sweeter. =) isn't it?

2007-03-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

the gruesome week was finally over. and here are the gruesome details.

waiting for the results of your examinations is more grueling then taking the paper

i received the marks for almost every single subject. well, i guess i could have done better, but nonetheless, effort was put in at the fullest. for my english, it's a huge improvement from a C6 to a B3 (back in secondary 2). as for music, i could clinch only a B4 grade because my theory listening paper was screwed up badly.

as for the other subjects, they're quite normal, trust me.for a particular reader: my chemistry got A1, maths got A1 too.yippee, so i guess my commitment to this two subjects to this particular person is fulfilled. happy hor miss tan? =)

and to my beloved teacher, how are your results? yup and this is the postcard you sent. i know you've been wondering what the postman has stuck to the postcard. so here goes:

yes i know, my dear readers, it is indeed very nice. but it would be nicer if that strip of white paper wasn't there. i got tempted to tear it off, but then it'll leave the gum and part of the strip behind, forming a hideous bar of furry-textured strip. oh well, the back of the postcard isn't going to be posted. don't ask why. it is scandalous, that's all i can say. why thank you very much miss tan, i'll send one over to your side one of these days. leave your address behind please.

wow, and it's e-learning for next monday, tuesday and wednesday, which means i get to stay at home logging in to the computer, learning through the school's web portal and listening to music at the same time. perhaps a little game would be perfect. and guys, make sure to log into your messengers as well. it'll be great to discuss answers!

the motive of the e-learning is to prepare us for future threats such as the SARS outbreak or bird flu plague. but then, we still have to attend co curriculum activities after the e-learning is done, how realistic is that. thereby, i reached a conclusion.

rain or shine, birdflu or SARS, realistic or unrealistic, band still goes on. and i'm really glad that i got into CHSSB. really. i'm thankful to everyone in it.

well that statement was made abruptly, it just somehow came into my mind. and before i end this, let me show you an essay which truly amused me.

Love is a fallacy - Max Shulman

Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute—I was all of these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, precise as a chemist’s scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And—think of it!—I only eighteen.

It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it—this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness. Not, however, to Petey.

One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis. “Don’t move,” I said, “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor.”

“Raccoon,” he mumbled thickly.

“Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

“I want a raccoon coat,” he wailed.

I perceived that his trouble was not physical, but mental. “Why do you want a raccoon coat?”

“I should have known it,” he cried, pounding his temples. “I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I spent all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat.”

“Can you mean,” I said incredulously, “that people are actually wearing raccoon coats again?”

“All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where’ve you been?”

“In the library,” I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

He leaped from the bed and paced the room. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said passionately. “I’ve got to!”

“Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They—”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted impatiently. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you want to be in the swim?”

“No,” I said truthfully.

“Well, I do,” he declared. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”

My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. “Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly.

“Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a raccoon coat. My father had had one in his undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted. He didn’t have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy.

I had long coveted Polly Espy. Let me emphasize that my desire for this young woman was not emotional in nature. She was, to be sure, a girl who excited the emotions, but I was not one to let my heart rule my head. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.

Beautiful she was. She was not yet of pin-up proportions, but I felt that time would supply the lack. She already had the makings.

Gracious she was. By gracious I mean full of graces. She had an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding. At table her manners were exquisite. I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the specialty of the house—a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut—without even getting her fingers moist.

Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate, it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly smart girl beautiful.

“Petey,” I said, “are you in love with Polly Espy?”

“I think she’s a keen kid,” he replied, “but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”

“Do you,” I asked, “have any kind of formal arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady or anything like that?”

“No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates. Why?”

“Is there,” I asked, “any other man for whom she has a particular fondness?”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

I nodded with satisfaction. “In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?”

“I guess so. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing , nothing,” I said innocently, and took my suitcase out the closet.

“Where are you going?” asked Petey.

“Home for weekend.” I threw a few things into the bag.

“Listen,” he said, clutching my arm eagerly, “while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?”

“I may do better than that,” I said with a mysterious wink and closed my bag and left.

“Look,” I said to Petey when I got back Monday morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

“Holy Toledo!” said Petey reverently. He plunged his hands into the raccoon coat and then his face. “Holy Toledo!” he repeated fifteen or twenty times.

“Would you like it?” I asked.

“Oh yes!” he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him. Then a canny look came into his eyes. “What do you want for it?”

“Your girl.” I said, mincing no words.

“Polly?” he said in a horrified whisper. “You want Polly?”

“That’s right.”

He flung the coat from him. “Never,” he said stoutly.

I shrugged. “Okay. If you don’t want to be in the swim, I guess it’s your business.”

I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat with the expression of a waif at a bakery window. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then he looked back at the coat, with even more longing in his face. Then he turned away, but with not so much resolution this time. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning. Finally he didn’t turn away at all; he just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

“It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or anything like that.”

“That’s right,” I murmured.

“What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?”

“Not a thing,” said I.

“It’s just been a casual kick—just a few laughs, that’s all.”

“Try on the coat,” said I.

He complied. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops. He looked like a mound of dead raccoons. “Fits fine,” he said happily.

I rose from my chair. “Is it a deal?” I asked, extending my hand.

He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and shook my hand.

I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I took her first to dinner. “Gee, that was a delish dinner,” she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her to a movie. “Gee, that was a marvy movie,” she said as we left the theatre. And then I took her home. “Gee, I had a sensaysh time,” she said as she bade me good night.

I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort.

I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It happened that I, as a law student, was taking a course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at my fingertips. “Poll’,” I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, “tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk.”

“Oo, terrif,” she replied. One thing I will say for this girl: you would go far to find another so agreeable.

We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an old oak, and she looked at me expectantly. “What are we going to talk about?” she asked.

“Logic.”

She thought this over for a minute and decided she liked it. “Magnif,” she said.

“Logic,” I said, clearing my throat, “is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”

“Wow-dow!” she cried, clapping her hands delightedly.

I winced, but went bravely on. “First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.”

“By all means,” she urged, batting her lashes eagerly.

“Dicto Simpliciter means an argument based on an unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise.”

“I agree,” said Polly earnestly. “I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything.”

“Polly,” I said gently, “the argument is a fallacy. Exercise is good is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors not to exercise. You must qualify the generalization. You must say exercise is usually good, or exercise is good for most people. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?”

“No,” she confessed. “But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!”

“It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve,” I told her, and when she desisted, I continued. “Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can’t speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French.”

“Really?” said Polly, amazed. “Nobody?”

I hid my exasperation. “Polly, it’s a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion.”

“Know any more fallacies?” she asked breathlessly. “This is more fun than dancing even.”

I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere. Still, I am nothing if not persistent. I continued. “Next comes Post Hoc. Listen to this: Let’s not take Bill on our picnic. Every time we take him out with us, it rains.”

“I know somebody just like that,” she exclaimed. “A girl back home—Eula Becker, her name is. It never fails. Every single time we take her on a picnic—”

“Polly,” I said sharply, “it’s a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn’t cause the rain. She has no connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc if you blame Eula Becker.”

“I’ll never do it again,” she promised contritely. “Are you mad at me?”

I sighed. “No, Polly, I’m not mad.”

“Then tell me some more fallacies.”

“All right. Let’s try Contradictory Premises.”

“Yes, let’s,” she chirped, blinking her eyes happily.

I frowned, but plunged ahead. “Here’s an example of Contradictory Premises: If God can do anything, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t be able to lift it?”

“Of course,” she replied promptly.

“But if He can do anything, He can lift the stone,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, then I guess He can’t make the stone.”

“But He can do anything,” I reminded her.

She scratched her pretty, empty head. “I’m all confused,” she admitted.

“Of course you are. Because when the premises of an argument contradict each other, there can be no argument. If there is an irresistible force, there can be no immovable object. If there is an immovable object, there can be no irresistible force. Get it?”

“Tell me more of this keen stuff,” she said eagerly.

I consulted my watch. “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have another session tomorrow night.”

I deposited her at the girls’ dormitory, where she assured me that she had had a perfectly terrif evening, and I went glumly home to my room. Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet. For a moment I considered waking him and telling him that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear that my project was doomed to failure. The girl simply had a logic-proof head.

But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one evening; I might as well waste another. Who knew? Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind a few members still smoldered. Maybe somehow I could fan them into flame. Admittedly it was not a prospect fraught with hope, but I decided to give it one more try.

Seated under the oak the next evening I said, “Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam.”

She quivered with delight.

“Listen closely,” I said. “A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming.”

A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks. “Oh, this is awful, awful,” she sobbed.

“Yes, it’s awful,” I agreed, “but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”

“Have you got a handkerchief?” she blubbered.

I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her eyes. “Next,” I said in a carefully controlled tone, “we will discuss False Analogy. Here is an example: Students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”

“There now,” she said enthusiastically, “is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”

“Polly,” I said testily, “the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are altogether different, and you can’t make an analogy between them.”

“I still think it’s a good idea,” said Polly.

“Nuts,” I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on. “Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact.”

“Sounds yummy,” was Polly’s reaction.

“Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende, the world today would not know about radium.”

“True, true,” said Polly, nodding her head “Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked me out. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy. I mean he fractures me.”

“If you can forget Mr. Pidgeon for a moment,” I said coldly, “I would like to point out that statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would have discovered radium at some later date. Maybe somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any number of things would have happened. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.”

“They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more pictures,” said Polly, “I hardly ever see him any more.”

One more chance, I decided. But just one more. There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear. “The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well.”

“How cute!” she gurgled.

“Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, ‘My opponent is a notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say.’ ... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s wrong?”

I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly a glimmer of intelligence—the first I had seen—came into her eyes. “It’s not fair,” she said with indignation. “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?”

“Right!” I cried exultantly. “One hundred per cent right. It’s not fair. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it. He has hamstrung his opponent before he could even start ... Polly, I’m proud of you.”

“Pshaws,” she murmured, blushing with pleasure.

“You see, my dear, these things aren’t so hard. All you have to do is concentrate. Think—examine—evaluate. Come now, let’s review everything we have learned.”

“Fire away,” she said with an airy wave of her hand.

Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not altogether a cretin, I began a long, patient review of all I had told her. Over and over and over again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept hammering away without letup. It was like digging a tunnel. At first, everything was work, sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even if I would. But I persisted. I pounded and clawed and scraped, and finally I was rewarded. I saw a chink of light. And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright.

Five grueling nights with this took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly; I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me, at last. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable mother for my well-heeled children.

It must not be thought that I was without love for this girl. Quite the contrary. Just as Pygmalion loved the perfect woman he had fashioned, so I loved mine. I decided to acquaint her with my feelings at our very next meeting. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.

“Polly,” I said when next we sat beneath our oak, “tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”

“Aw, gee,” she said, disappointed.

“My dear,” I said, favoring her with a smile, “we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched.”

“Hasty Generalization,” said Polly brightly.

“I beg your pardon,” said I.

“Hasty Generalization,” she repeated. “How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?”

I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons well. “My dear,” I said, patting her hand in a tolerant manner, “five dates is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know that it’s good.”

“False Analogy,” said Polly promptly. “I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.”

I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well. I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper word. Then I began:

“Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk.”

There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

“Ad Misericordiam,” said Polly.

I ground my teeth. I was not Pygmalion; I was Frankenstein, and my monster had me by the throat. Frantically I fought back the tide of panic surging through me; at all costs I had to keep cool.

“Well, Polly,” I said, forcing a smile, “you certainly have learned your fallacies.”

“You’re darn right,” she said with a vigorous nod.

“And who taught them to you, Polly?”

“You did.”

“That’s right. So you do owe me something, don’t you, my dear? If I hadn’t come along you never would have learned about fallacies.”

“Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” she said instantly.

I dashed perspiration from my brow. “Polly,” I croaked, “you mustn’t take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life.”

“Dicto Simpliciter,” she said, wagging her finger at me playfully.

That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull. “Will you or will you not go steady with me?”

“I will not,” she replied.

“Why not?” I demanded.

“Because this afternoon I promised Petey Bellows that I would go steady with him.”

I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it. After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand! “The rat!” I shrieked, kicking up great chunks of turf. “You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”

“Poisoning the Well ,” said Polly, “and stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”

With an immense effort of will, I modulated my voice. “All right,” I said. “You’re a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Bellows over me? Look at me—a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey—a knothead, a jitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Bellows?”

“I certainly can,” declared Polly. “He’s got a raccoon coat.”

2007-03-01T19:57:00.000+08:00

in the meantime,

IMVU - The World's Greatest 3D Chat

well, it's just like any other chat programs but this one is interesting to play around with. just for fun. click on that, register and help me earn some currency in that game, thanks.

2007-02-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

disgusting. simply nauseating lah

it makes me wonder why such people exist, which they do make ludicrous and nonsensical comments on people. first up was the flaming texts, then the second a bulletin, then third in his blog FAQs.

call off the matter? peace? you chopped peace into pieces, little brat. you kicked yourself right in the balls for goodness sake. and i should say, unless you rub out that silly facial-feature comment, i shan't budge out of this.

and no, it's not a threat, it's a settlement - my way if you don't mind.

well enough of all that, for that particular human being, i'm sick and tired of wasting space in my blog just for all that.

on the other hand, there is just really nothing i can blog about. Life's going well, yes, the monotonous life that i lead every single day. it's all these little little fiasco that gives me enough text to put on my blog.

don't worry, the more interesting posts are coming up real soon, i promise.

2007-02-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

i'm not dead yet, for your information.

looks like i'm alive and kicking again. =) yay to super strong antibiotics.

2007-02-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

i feel weak, helpless and sick right now.

i took mc for the cross country as i really couldn't run in a condition like that. the doctor prescribed me another type of antibiotic which is a broad spectrum one. and once i pop in the pill, it withdraws all my energy to do the things i want. another dosage of the cough medicine just makes me more drowsy than ever.

well, something is definitely wrong with me, might go to the clinic for a checkup soon.

as for now, enjoy this piece of music.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

2007-02-21T20:20:00.000+08:00

the chinese new year holidays are basically slacking days. days to play, days to have fun, days to eat.

for these few days i've been practically living on delicacies ranging from sharks fin, abalone, crabs, lobster and seafood. it's great to have them at first, but then you'll soon grow sick of it when you eat it for every meal.

every year my family and I will go out of Singapore to have our holidays. this year's budget and time was kind of tight, so we decided on Malaysia. on the second day of the lunar new year, we set off, rather rushy, as it was a last minute kind of thing.

in malaysia i had my first meal of the day - Abalone kway teow. ever heard of it? Basically it's just kway teow seasoned with black and light soya sauce, then in the soup, they would have all sorts of things dumped inside. bean sprouts, crab sticks, fish ball, minced meat, clam, lettuce, fish cake and most importantly, the abalone. it's kind of interesting actually, that the proportion of the soup is way larger than the kway teow.

the first day in malaysia was supposed to be one that was fun, so we went to do stuff that all my female family and relatives like to do - shopping. and this was what i bought:

i have no idea what it is called. but it somehow gives the false impression that you're wearing two pieces of clothing when actually it is just one. and i like the fact that it has this chain dangling around in the middle, and the blue jewels. well, talk about a fashion sense change. i don't know what came over me when i saw it, there's just this urge to buy it. well, i also bought another green one. and a pair of jeans. why, half of my ang pow money is gone already.

temple trip comes next. unbelievably, i've managed to offer all 250 joss sticks to all 200+ deities in the temple. oh and did i mentioned the size of the temple was the size of 4 football fields? it is really a unique experience, where you step into the temple, get overwhelmed by the scent of the joss sticks rushing up your nose, into your head. yes, and your eyes would hurt. i managed to walk through the whole temple, offering joss sticks and coming out alive. i'm a survivor.

the rest of the journey, well, it's best if you don't know. ask me if you want to know all right?

oh and one more thing, on the journey back, we had an arduous 3 hour jam in the custom examinations. looks like the malaysian customs aren't doing their jobs well. their lights weren't even on!

this post was written in a hurry so i hope you don't mind the abrupt changes. well, see you tomorrow.

2007-02-19T20:39:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOODNESS.

2007-02-18T21:24:00.002+08:00

i hate it when this situation happens all the time.

when i have no time to do work, you just think i'm a slacker.

and why do i have no time? you might ask. it's all about other more important obligations and responsibilities.

yes, i'm not as rich as you, nor as smart.you can buy your own clarinet. you can manipulate people.you can have all the things in the world going your way. and you can selfishly remark on other people's plight, without a sense of empathy.

yes, it's true, you are just a narcissistic person. you don't care about others, all the things that goes around in your brain is labeled "yourself, yours and you". there is no "they, theirs and them"

and i'm sick of you.

2007-02-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

yes, Happy CNY to you all. so for the next 2 days i might not be blogging 'cause it's my well deserved holiday. =) May all your wishes come true.

as for the picture on the left, it's been lifted off the habbo website, it seems so appropriate so i've taken it. it says "Happy New Spring", for my non-chinese readers.

well as for the 2 day break, i might be going off to malaysia, or i might not. it depends actually, whether or not my mum manages to get the tickets. sigh, it's a break, but i would like it to be a memorable one. i just don't want to stay at home and play my computer for hours and hours.

i want a holiday, for goodness sake. i want to step out of singapore for once. i want to forget all down-to-earth matters. most importantly, i want to make myself happy in this chinese new year.

wish me luck.

2007-02-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

happy lunar new year to all my readers out there! may prosperity and luck bestow upon you. as for all past grudges, it's buried. let us all start anew!

why, it's the year of the pig already, time really flies. twelve years ago, same pig year. i was just a little toddler, taking ang pows innocently from the adults and gazing at them with those ignorant eyes. and did i mention that my mum was born in the year of the pig?

but today when i count the numbers of my ang pow, i've discovered something. as you grow older, the quantity of your ang pows will gradually decrease, but the quality of them will increase. yes, i'm referring to the amount of money inside. the quality.

-sinister giggle-

i would love to spend these money on the things i want, yes. but it just doesn't seem to be enough. i received a total of 5 ang pows this lunar new year, and counting, hopefully. the amount adds up to roughly $150, once again and counting, hopefully. what can that buy me? well, i can also choose to save this money up and wait for the next chinese new year, then it'll accumulate to the amount needed to buy my new mp3. whoops i just said that.

but sometimes i just have the sudden urge to donate all my money to the needy. yes and i mean stuffing the whole stack of notes into the donation box. scary sudden impulse, don't you agree? i always land myself in a dilemma, sigh. anyway, my wish this chinese new year is for all people around the world, regardless of social status, physical condition or monetary status, to be happy.

yes, being happy is the least thing we can do for ourselves.

as for just now, i had my reunion dinner. it's really rare to see the whole family gathered at one place at one time. it's really amazing. and when so many people shows up, i tend to get shy and quiet.

counting today, it's officially about 9 years since he's gone. as the memory fades away, it leaves behind a scar. a scar that would never heal in years to come.

2007-02-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

CNY celebrations on today, had the mascot of class dressed up as a dragon, take a look:

that's the dragon head.

that's the tail.

and that's the entire dragon. Liu Bei Er.

in the end we didn't manage to clinch any award. sad case. and to think we had put in so much efforts in designing, and sticking ang pows all over him.

today at music class we got back our practical exam scripts. i panicked at that instance mr heng announced that he was going to give it back to us, then caught myself back when i received the script. it was a 42/50. i was so happy that i could have hugged mr heng at that moment. i tried to remain calm, not to attract attention but the gleefulness portrayed on my face was giving me away. finally, my music grade is going to be saved.

in the exam script they commented that i had good air support, phrasing and attempts to bring out life in the piece. the negative comments were expected - too airy and too technical. it can't be helped, you would, too, become a nervous wreck, and be too conscentious if it were your first time taking music practical exams in school for you CA1.

well, today's band rehearsal went on well, the music was there. we played Incantation and Dance like we never did. perhaps it's the positive pressure that mr edwin heng was exerting on us. perhaps. or it might be due to everyone's genuine focus. anyway, good job!

psst. mr edwin heng complained that i have an airy tone. and used me as an example to play a french music that he impromptu-ed at that moment. he said my tone was very french. i wonder if that's a compliment, or an indirect complain.

2007-02-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

such a strenuous day it had been.

school was dismissed at 2.30pm today, but yet i couldn't go home - i had a music practical exam to go for. and to my dismay, my time slot for the exam was at 5.50pm.

well considering the time i have to do a last minute practice, it's actually not bad.
but bearing in mind that i have to stay in school for the whole day, hmmm, just doesn't pay off.

so anyway, i had my practice in the band room, with a couple of friends and seniors. one particular senior gave me the additional strength to persevere. his name is, Gary Chew. yes yes cheer on. although he was from the clarinet section, which is totally disparate from flutes, he cheered me on in a rather light-hearted way. and i have got to thank him. so Gary, if you're reading this, thank you. =)

in the end my practical was late, we were 40 minutes behind schedule. by the time it was my turn, it was already about 7pm. you could have pictured how fatigued i was. i stepped into the music room anyway, and it begun.

throughout the two pieces my lips couldn't stop quivering. they were just trembling all over the place, affecting my tone, putting ultra vibratos everywhere. they vibrations were like, i don't know, 10 per second?

later on the teachers (judges) gave comments, that were partially good and bad. so i won't go talking about it.

perhaps it's due to anxiety, or the temperature of the music room which i couldn't adapt in time. but nevertheless, it's still that cliched statement:

i did my best.

chinese new year celebrations are tomorrow, and i really look forward to having fun, especially now when all my exams are over. ask me out? someone? =)

2007-02-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

i resent on the fact that some people think others on a better stream than them are incorrigible or non-advisable.

it makes no sense at all, to think that smarter people are the best. perhaps they're just being covetous, green-eyed or whatever. it's just typical to see a person who has a lower education stream than you, ranting away something which actual facts cannot justify for.

aiya they elites ma, you can't argue your points out with them, they will always win and win

that i think, is the most disgusting statement ever made. they just run out of excuses to accuse the people that they can't defeat. and they just bomb out that statement. well, ironically, that statement seems to make every lower stream person feel emphatic for the person complaining, when in actual fact the person who made that statement is just lying through his bare teeth. lying to others, lying to them self.

well i agree that being smart, you do have some sense of arrogance. but from what i view, i just think that the little teeny bit of arrogance acts as self confidence for the smarter people. don't you think so?

again i say this, you want to accuse, make sure you have a stable stand. If not it's just plain pointless.

the above entry wasn't meant only for that person, it's meant for all.

on a lighter note:

well for Tuesday, the Singapore Conference Hall Rehearsal didn't seem to run very well. the acoustic results wasn't what we expected. all our playing couldn't be heard properly. the articulation, volume and musicality just wasn't there.

but ultimately, i did my best. really, i did. my best. we just have to work harder don't we?

as for today, we were finally on our learning journey trip. we visited the civil district of Singapore, such as the Supreme Courts, the URA centre and the St Andrew's Cathedral.

throughout the journey i've been trying to keep myself awake, not to fall asleep and snore right in front of the facilitator. Tuesday's rehearsal at SCH ended rather late and i didn't manage to catch enough sleep.

well, as for now, i'm going to end my entry. rather abrupt,i hope you don't mind. my eyes are giving in to the temptations of the luscious night already. and i really hope there aren't too many typing errors. =) Good night.

2007-02-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

i applaud to one human being who is currently reading this post now.

yes, your attempts, for slandering me with something which i have not done, was purely amateurish. and i have to say, that post was quite well written, seriously.

typing this blog in good English was the least thing i could do for the readers. to allow them to read with ease, and to comprehend everything that i have to say or convey.

what makes you think a decent reader can read this:
arhhHhxx, oKay lArrhhxx, i'll m33t hiim toMorOz lOrhx

or this,the frivolous amount of full stops that a blogger puts:
Lol..........I tink so baH.......................

or even:

f**k. ch** b**! k** n* n* @#^%&@$@&*$@&*$%*&@$%*&@^

i'm just giving examples, not entirely stating that you do things like that. no offence, everyone has their own style of typing posts. some might like my style, some might not, it's perfectly normal.

if you have something to say about my style of blogging, it is fine to voice out your views. but when doing so, please make sure there's no hidden personal attacks.

and to all my readers, you are free to comment on my blog as well. be it good or bad, just make sure you have a stable stand, if you decide to do so. =)

for the rakion thing, i'm no fool to trifle with. to beat someone in an online first player shooting game is nothing compared to real life struggle. oh and if you think i'm afraid, please do think so. yes i'm afraid of being so competitive in a virtual online fighting game.

it is funny, somehow, that people think that they're more superior if they beat someone in an online game. no wait. cancel that line. it is HILARIOUS.

i get it now, it's your missing chromosome.

my sore throat's fine now. yippee. and here's a nice picture of my estate

2007-02-12T13:44:00.000+08:00

i woke up today feeling like crap. my throat hurts like hell and i'm hot all over. and when i got up to brush up, there was a lump of phlegm waiting in the throat, and when i finally spat it out, it was stained dark red. blood, that is. the first ominous sign - the sore, bloody throat. and then i started coughing.

yes, yes, you've guessed it.. i've fallen sick once again.

it's the 3rd time that i've been to the doctor since january. and it's the 3rd time that i've taken the day off school. (to avoid spreading everyone the disease) it is also the third time that i've been given a little white plastic bag that has all the antibiotics and medicine inside.

the thing is, my sickness all arrive on mondays. well, i think monday is the working day of all bad bacteria, i guess. and their client would be? yours truly.

an apple a day keeps the doctor away? what rubbish. it doesn't work, LAH.
2 servings of fruits and 2 servings of vegetables will help you stay healthy? what crap. it doesn't work either, LAH. i've eaten more vegetables than you have eaten rice okay! and yet i still fall ill all the time.

sometimes i just wish that i would be healthy, free from all those flu, sinus, fever, headache, stomachaches, sore throats. and all these things that i've mentioned, that i always encounter, make me feel that i'm quite useless as a human being.

low immune system, or no immune system is definitely not a thing that you want to wish for. so stay healthy. as for now, i'm going to take a nap. i hope that i'll recover by tomorrow for the big CHSSB showcase. no, i must recover. i'll be there no matter what. wish me luck. =)

2007-02-11T12:03:00.000+08:00

my neighbour, who is living two doors away from me, is currently singing.

oh, and her singing is not bad either. there is the tone, there is the right pitch and there is good projection - which is why i'm so fed up.

her repertoire ranges from ABBA,Luo Zhi Xiang, Jolin Tsai to Shakira

she has been blasting and screaming away since the past 1 hour. and she's using a mini karaoke system. the noise level is equivalent to those that you hear when a plane flies directly above you. in this case it's not a plane, it's a flock of bees - high pitched.

and her good voice isn't enough to compensate for the noise she is creating. contradictory, isn't it? but who cares, she's affecting the work i'm doing.

maybe i should bring out my flute now to practice for the music assessment on thursday, should i? >=)

2007-02-10T10:50:00.000+08:00

Ahh, the memories.

and can my memories come back again in this secondary school? CHSSB? =) Hmm, There's no doubt that i can get it back =)

2007-02-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

Baby Panda Sneezes

i hope that video amused you, haha.

aww, every animal in the world is just so cute. and my higher chinese paper today was on the topic of poachers. this poachers seriously need better brains to think of what would happen to the cute animals, rather then thinking of money all the time.

what right have they got to kill an animal? they don't.

maybe i'll grow up to be a animal life conservation party, or a veterinarian.

well today in was much more of a long day rather than a hectic one. i had my chinese paper in the morning and thought it was pretty all right. except for the fact that i contradicted myself in one of the questions. stupid me.

and guess how many times i yawned while typing this entry? 6 and counting. yes, there goes one again, which makes 7. now 8.

and during band, i think darryn ng, who's sick right now has actually coughed right into my face. so now i'm feeling unwell too. the muscles are aching, the forehead is turning hot, the face is turning pink and i feel feverish.

argh, my lymphocytes are quite useless.

2007-02-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

argh, was trying to log into rakion for the past few hours but apparently couldn't.

they just changed the whole entire system of logging in, and they call it RakionSEA. and now lots of errors are popping out and people are complaining that they can't play it.

looks like rakion has got themselves another partner.

the main problem is, i can't "migrate" my account like they told me too. this is just so frustrating.

I want my RAKION NOW.

2007-02-08T17:43:00.001+08:00

yes yes yes yes YES!

the mugging life is finally over (for as long as 3 months)! yeah! finally some decent time for myself.

Computer, here i come.
Beloved Cats, here i come.
My Flute, here i come.
Friends, here i come.
TV, here i come.
Band, here i come.

well tomorrow's paper in chinese, so no mugging! it's an unseen passage, it's either you know how to do it, or you don't. yippee!

2007-02-07T20:40:00.003+08:00

music test today was horrible.

i was basically just sitting there, listening to the extracts, and desperately trying to fill in some answers. especially the descriptive ones, i didn't know what i was writing! my hand was going on and on and on while my brain was just doing no thinking at all.

the test freaked me out, really.

and i thought i was prepared, because i read through the notes several times already for the past week. i thought i could successfully and painlessly fill in the answers. but guess not. extract 3 was a giveaway question. 10 marks. and yet i think i could only clinch 7 marks.

oh well, the test was upon 40. now i'm just crossing my fingers, hoping that the other 13 would just miraculously appear out of nowhere. and i mean it. nowhere. well there are a few questions which were giveaways as well, but i don't think i could clinch them all.

looks like my musical ear is failing me, once again.

but let bygones be bygones, no use worrying about it.

as for now i have to mug for the biology and the maths paper, hanging on to my life, and the horrors of not clinching an "A"/ fail a paper. one day more, junwei, just one day more.

you wanna see our mugging session today? here goes =)

see? it's not really mugging after all. it's just fun learning! and can someone tell me why are there the white borders which are really irritating?

2007-02-05T21:13:00.001+08:00

mugging in school doesn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

with friends around me, we can discuss about the subject and to share what we know, and to be much more equipped and confident for the exams.

well today il shan, zhen sheng, benjamin and I were occupying the desk in the library, mugging our social studies. the library was scheduled to be closed at 5pm. and so off we went picking another perfect destination for our mugging session.

we settled down at the study area right above the grandstand. it was quite a nice environment, cooling and bright, except for the fact that we could hear frequent shoutings coming from the PE CCA teachers.

and so we stayed there, studying and cracking jokes to each other at the same time. it is indeed, a fun experience to study (i overused the m word) and to discuss stuff with your friends.

so benji, il shan, zhen sheng, when shall be our next ~~mugging~~ studying session?

2007-02-04T00:46:00.003+08:00

came across this video in YouTube.

Basically it features a person who has received a bunch of hate-comments and hate mails. watch as she reads out every single ridiculous hate comment.

Highly offensive language, but damn funny at the same time. Very entertaining.

2007-02-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

it's really fun to have a night market right at the area below my flat.

it just makes the whole place more lively at night. no more quiet moments of being alone. and if i feel hungry, i can always take the stairs down to buy hamburgers or snacks from the pasar malam.

the hamburgers are really nice. you know? those that they barbeque it over a surface, wrap it with an egg, then squeezing lots of sauces on it.

then there were the carnival rides. the merry-go-rounds, the pirate ships, the choo-choo trains, and the moon bounce which the little kids were having fun with.

all those fun "kiddy" carnival rides really makes me think back into the past, when i was just a little kid, bugging my mum to allow me to go onto the rides, ranting and screaming when i was rejected.

well, it felt good to be a little kid. it felt good to be pampered by my mum. it felt good to play all the childish games. it felt good to be happy and carefree.

and now all that is gone.

2007-02-02T22:07:00.001+08:00

today was the aesthetique showcase of two aesthetique. which is us, and the chinese orchestra. i've practised through the running notes of Incantation and Dance just an hour before the showcase while the chamber music groups were out to perform to non-existent audiences.

the chinese orchestra put up a spectacular performance for us. they played a 20th century piece, which consists of mostly sound effects and their syf set-piece - a typical chinese sounding one. many of us thought they were way superior above us, and soon grew to be afraid of the performance, which is due in 3 minutes time.

basically we went through the two pieces. Sunrise and Incantation and Dance. they didn't go well. loopholes and screw-ups could be heard in every single part of the music.

mr heng had came in at that moment after we've finished playing. he claimed that we were all "afraid". Indeed, yes, many band members were afraid to play, even i myself became very very cautious. but being cautious isn't the right thing to do at that moment. we're supposed to let go of everything and present the music to the audience. not the notes.

i recall, my sec 1 year as a band member.

i joined the chssb because of my passion towards music and the flute, and partially because i had the experience as a flute and piccolo player in my primary school band.

that year was the syf year to the sec 2-4s. i hoped to join in the syf, but unfortunately all the spaces were taken up. the list was finalisted and thus i wasn't included.

even that was so, i still joined the main band in many of the band practices that they had. as a sec 1. in the practices, i could see the determination and the perseverence of all my seniors then.

they had this energy and fire that's fuming inside them. they wanted the gold w/honours. and they've worked so hard towards it, together, as a family of musicians. and they've made it, successfully. the award was theirs.

thus i appeal (and plead) to all band members:

practice hard, get everything right
with passion
with determination
with perseverence
with confidence
with the thought that you're doing this for your family - chssb

pull through this 3 months, i believe, we'll make it successfully to our goals.

2007-02-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

I tried to kill my pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied?
Christ?
Tourniquet
My suicide

2007-02-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

the chemistry class test papers are back! to my dismay, i've done badly for it. it was supposed to be a free 30% for my CA, yet i've only managed to clinch 23%. argh.

as for the biology paper, i found it relatively simple. except for the part which the B and J were pointing to the same part of the cell. well, what a pleasant surprise it was.

yeah i just whacked a mosquito. - random statement of interruption

anyway, i thought that structure had a resemblence to the smooth endoplasmic reticulum, so that was what i put.

the common tests are next week, and i've barely started mugging for it. guess i have to do so this weekend. sigh, how i wish i had more time. i have 8 subjects to mug for.

such is the life of a student.

and i got freaked out by this picture: (not for the faint hearted, refrain from scrolling down if you have a weak heart)

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can people please stop putting scary stuff on their blogs?

2007-01-31T21:14:00.000+08:00

wednesday, 9.55am, catholic high school, rock wall.

so today it was finally my turn to challenge the rock wall, to climb it. i lifted my head up and inspected the entire wall, it seemed easy, so i didn't worry about it.

later on the two gohs arrived, and they called for "bilay-ers". these were the people who will handle the ropes for you, literally. and they had better be good, if not, you're gonna lose your life. of course i didn't volunteer to be a bilay-er, because i knew, that i would probably kill a few classmates.

so the first 4 climbers were selected, and i wasn't in them. i stood aside and watched. and Goh YH was just ther ranting and ranting away at our inefficiency. the first 3 climbers had successfully taken off, and there was still one left at the starting point. apparently all the supporters (people who save you if you fall at the 2m cut-off, because the ropes can't do that) were occupied with the rope handling, and no one was supporting that last pathetic climber, i was pointed out by Goh YH, he stared at me and squeaked out,

eh why you stand there for, go and help laaa! i don't want anyone in my class to be a bystander! go! @#@#%%$@%$%@$ (i didn't hear this part).

i looked around, there were at least 5, or even 6 more people who were free, and admiring the classmates just like what i was doing.

why is he picking on me?

anyway, i paced towards that climber and held out my arms under him, in the supporting position. and Goh YH had something else to say.

.. and your fingernails are too long!! haaa, (he elongated the huh) and i want to see your fingernails tomorrow!!

at that time i flinched, i was uber annoyed. what has my fingernails got to do with rock-wall climbing? indeed, my nails were rather long. the thing is, if i had the internal strength of a kong-fu master i might just be able to dent, scratch or destroy your rock wall and bring it down to ashes. moreover, with the length of my fingernails, i might be able to grip and climb better. but this was just too much.

.. and i'll make you climb the rock wall later, huh, think you can escape.

BAH, that was it man, i gritted my teeth. at that time i felt like kicking him in the crouch and throwing my helmet towards his hillbilly face. so what if he makes me climb the rock wall? it's not like i'm that timid, and it's not as if the rock wall would crumble on me.

and so i climbed. yes.

i managed to reach the top in pretty good time, missing a few steps and almost scaring myself to death. i came down in grandeur and smirked at Goh YH. yeah, i had proven to him that i can climb the rock wall. i mean, which sec 3 pupil can't even climb LAH. and hooray for long fingernails.

and boo to Goh YH. i hope the next time he climbs the rock wall, his bilay-er will fall asleep, his rope will break and his supporter will have long fingernails so that it will pierce through his bum.

and let's see if he's biased to bystanders with long fingernails the next time he sees one.

2007-01-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

ah, my heart's all fluttering again.

someone did make a good impression on me. and i'm keeping it a secret.

2007-01-30T19:37:00.000+08:00

i had been blog hopping since the last few hours, reading entries after entries after entries. what fascinated me most was that most of my friends have actually began to start being interested in blogging. who started the chain, ah?

well i'd add all the links that i've stumbled upon to the link column of my page, go check out if your link is there ya? if not just drop me a message and i'll link it up, all right?

i returned to school today, still feeling rather feverish. and i just couldn't stop coughing. there's this irritating itch near the chest area, and i feel like digging it out manually, argh. talk about suicide attempts.

and then at english period mr fourier ang came into the class. he looked rather fine. the fact that i haven't passed up my narrative essay didn't seem to occur to him. even so, i approached him cautiously, and i said softly.

um. mr ang, can i have my english comprehension paper back? 'cause i was absent yesterday.

and the thing is, he didn't mention anything about the narrative, hooray! he handed me the paper and i sorted recoiled back. i saw the mark on that piece of paper. it wasn't a failure. it was a pass. and that pass was probably one of the highest in my class. it was a 30/50.
YAY.

i didn't fail! it was such a relief i tell you. for that moment i felt like hugging mr ang. come to think of it now, lucky i didnt ar. ew.

during bio period i asked ms saras about the retaking of the exam. she told me to come to her class (3-7) to take the paper after school. at 3.30pm i was loitering around in class, hoping to spot my good friends. and then leon appeared and told me that the bio test was postponed, and it was scheduled on thursday afternoon.

ah well, more time to study, yay for the second time.

and by the way, i might start my own clog too. comic blog, to be exact, imitating the style of stickgal.blogspot.com. i just hope that she wouldn't sue me. right, first comic strip. not a good artist though, xian chou le!

and for one hilarious thing, i actually screwed up the drawings a few times.

yeah i know it's badly done. but oh well. =)

2007-01-29T17:55:00.000+08:00

i am on mc today. yet in the morning i woke up at 7am. i couldn't sleep any longer.

i was coughing and coughing and it felt like my heart was gonna spew out any moment. even now at this moment there's the urge to cough. and i feel breathless all the time.

why has it got to be me that's always sick?

yes, i'm jealous of the people who are always healthy.

why are they always the ones that can manage all the tough weathers without even dropping a hair? why are they always so energetic and alert? and why are they the ones who don't get to see mr.doctor?

yes, and i've missed the biology test today. and i'm not even sure if there's a maths test. crap, to think i studied so hard for it yesterday.

2007-01-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

Cloud Nine - Evanescence

If you want to live, let live
if you want to go, let go
I'm not afraid to dream- to sleep, sleep forever

I don't need to touch the sky
I just want to feel that high
and you refuse to lift me

guess it wasn't real after all
guess it wasn't real all along

if I fall and all is lost
its where I belong

If you want to live, let live
if you want to go, let go
I'm never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender

guess it wasn't real after all
guess it wasn't real all along

If I fall and all is lost
no light to lead the way

remember that all alone is where I belong

In a dream will you give your love to me
beg my broken heart to beat
save my life change my mind

If I fall and all is lost
no light to lead the way

remember that all alone is where I belong

2007-01-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

the weekends are in once again, but i think it's just going too quickly that i don't even have time to catch a breather.

i have my biology test tomorrow and i'm going, or rather i have, to mug for it. all those lessons in class doesn't seem to work for me. the teacher is going too fast! and we only have 2 biology periods per week.

as for the incident i'm apologizing too, i'm glad it's finally resolved. but i hope that he/she would withdraw whatever he/she had said in the fit of an anger. as you all know, we all do things that aren't ourselves when we're being provoked. but there's a lesson that i've learnt, that is to control that anger and to dissolve it slowly until it disappears. if not we're going to do things that would hurt others.

well enough of the unhappy issues, let's go on with what's happening nowadays.

two days ago we had our first formal drill practice with our musical instruments and all. there is a video which we have to take and send it to the SYF people, in order for us to take part in SYF or something. so we spent almost an hour practising, after that i had cramps in my left pinky finger, due to holding the flute Ab key. to my horror, it had turned blue already.

oh yes, so many people are falling sick nowadays. even i myself, lost my voice already. and that's why i'm here ranting away using my fingers, and torturing your eyes.

-evil triumphant laughter-

the advice i would give to all people out that is to drink lots of water, have enough sleep, eat vitamin c pills, exercise regularly and don't eat junk food.

i'm living on cabbage soup and broiled chicken for goodness sake.

and for some reason everytime during the recess in school, i would be forced to buy from stall 8 - the honourable snack stall. the rest of the stalls would have queues extending all the way to the staircases. scary, and i wouldn't want to wait that long.

i'm sick and tired of eating baos or double decker chicken snacks.

as for now, it's mugging time.

biology. cells. smooth and rough endoplasmic reticulums, mitochondrias, golgi apparatus, nuclei.....

2007-01-27T10:30:00.000+08:00

okay, i have got to say this now.

i'm sorry for whoever i flamed. (since i didn't mention his name thus i wouldn't mention it now)
i'm sorry for whoever i pissed off.
i'm sorry for writing that piece of post.

okay? and i hope that one (or two) person would contact me, and i would apologize to him personally.

i really didn't mean it.

2007-01-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

i've seen someone give a reply to what i said in the previous post. and it doesn't matter, really, it doesn't. i'm sick and tired of bottling up all these things. and sometimes i just have the urge to let it all go.

if i'm being childish or unreasonable to anyone, i'm sorry, for whatever i said that offended you, it's just that sudden urge to let everything out.

i don't even really, totally understand my really young baby days. it's just this blank that is present there. and i'm not sure if my parents are keeping anything from me, till now when i'm 14. and i resent the fact that i have to keep on maintaining a brave front in the sight of all my friends.

this is just another world or dimension full of doubts and lies. therefore, i would like to release all the inner frustrations i have. and be carefree. and most importantly to be happy.

so what if my father wasn't my biological father. it doesn't matter, actually.
so what if i was adopted. it doesn't matter, actually.
so what if my real parents are somewhere looking for me. it doesn't matter, actually.

because i'm contended, with what i have. my present family - forever family. my present relatives - forever relatives. my present friends - friends forever. really, i am contended that i was able to meet each and every single person of my life, and being a part of your lives.

God bless.

2007-01-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

what a chaotic, hectic week it has been.

and those two words aren't even enough to describe the tip of the ice-berg of the torment i'm going through. everyday of the week is occupied. and i mean occupied. for the whole week i've been running from place to place, knocking down several innocent passer-bys and bystanders and creating stampedes, while i, myself,miraculously, don't get into one.

and i simply don't like rushing into class, panting like a dog, and barely make it for the tests. speaking of which, i had 4 tests this week. chemistry,music, chinese and maths. and i have 1 coming up the next week, which i will mug and mug for it. biology, it is.

oh yes and i visited the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. there was a piano performance by one of the year one students there, and it was simply fabulous, i should say. the phrasing and technique was simply breathtaking, you just yearn for more.

and i really do consider a career in music.

2007-01-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

well, since nowadays i don't have anything better to write, i shall publicize my tuition teacher's blog, yay!

no, actually she paid me to do this. haha.

anyway, her name is miss tan jie ying, as i call her.frankly, i've never seen a teacher as devoted as her. she spends extra time to go through the work that i don't understand, and sometimes give free private tuition in macdonalds when we meet for breakfast! how great can a teacher get anyway huh?

she has been teaching me for around 4 years now. sadly she's in seattle (washington d.c) studying currently. but, you can see her life in seattle through her blog and i thought it might be quite interesting.

go take a look! i especially like the tubbing and sledding pictures

http://bridge-of-fate.blogspot.com

2007-01-22T21:15:00.000+08:00

Lacrymosa - Evanescence

Out on your own
cold and alone again
can this be what you really wanted, baby?

Blame it on me
set your guilt free
nothing can hold you back now

Now that you're gone
I feel like myself again
grieving the things I can't repair and willing ...

to let you blame it on me
and set your guilt free
I don't want to hold you back now love

I can't change who I am
not this time, I wont lie to keep you near me
and in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough

and you can blame it on me
just set your guilt free, honey
I don't want to hold you back now love

2007-01-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

the weekends are in once again. but then i don't think i'd have any free time for myself.

you see, i left my folder somewhere, that has all the worksheets in it, in school. or rather, i'd forgotten where i put it. and now i'm going crazy and worrying the crap out of myself.

did i lose it or something. or did someone take it from me.

but now even if the worksheets are not with me, i still can occupy myself with loads of work. argh damn.

argh. crap. i'm so damn forgetful.

2007-01-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

well, i guess the addition of a new chinese language teacher is a new addition of a comedian.

behold. Mdm Liu Fang.

first i'll introduce her to you. she's a new teacher, that obviously comes from china because of her fanciful chinese accent. she has a height of around 1.5m, wears a pair of spectacles and puts on clothing that is really very oriental.

and what's so funny about her, you might ask. well judging from her appearence you wouldn't find anothing that's so distinctively funny. but from her actions, if you watch closely, might just be the joke of the day for you.

so what happened today was, she came into our class, after we greeted her, she went out of the class to get some items. we were doing our chemistry homework when we spotted her arriving, we quickly kept it. the strange thing was, she walked right past our classroom without even looking. we thought she had went to the staff female toilet (that was just next to our class) but we were wrong, she walked back once again. this time she walked on. the whole class stared intently at her as she walked past. someone suggested that she (somehow) missed the class and got lost.

oh and he was right. she does not have a good sense of direction.

Liu Fang quickly stepped backwards, upon enlightenment that she had finally arrived. she stepped into the class smiling, and someone just said something aloud.

what a long time you took.

i was greatly amused by this moment of time, i began to laugh while covering my face with a piece of paper. it took me quite a while to stop laughing.

then in the middle of her lesson, some of my classmates began to giggle rather indiscreetly. i leaned forward and tapped manfred on his shoulder and questioned upon why he was laughing.

there is a price tag dangling in her blouse! he blurted out.

i turned towards the direction of Mdm Liu Fang. yes, indeed. there was a piece of paper in her blouse that's dangling all over the place. i tried to spot a barcode, but was unsuccessful. i roared out with laughter. then the whole class began to roar out with laughter. and someone mentioned something that was hilarious.

she wants to keep the price tag 'cos she can get a refund after wearing that piece of expensive clothing for one day.

i began to giggle and laugh once again, even to the extent of choking and grunting. yet Liu Fang just stood there, happily doing her powerpoint presentation, without any idea of what we were laughing about.

oh i guess it's gonna be another fun year of chinese lessons =)

2007-01-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

uh, life's beginning to get tougher and tougher.

every week i would have 3 days of band practices lasting from 3pm to around 7pm. 2 days of normal school days with a dismissal time of 3.50pm. how great is that huh. i won't have any free time for myself.

and just today i've received news that the band practices on friday will last all the day to about 8pm. which means, i will not even have time for my own tuition, let alone rest. so now i'm considering about quitting tuition for the meantime. (yeah miss tan jy you heard me)

it's not that i'm lazy, slack or whatsoever, i just don't have the time. and i figured that i might not be getting enough sleep because some my friends, at school, tend to point at me and say:

"what is happening to your eyes. have you been beaten up?"

and even this,

"have you put on mascara?"

and the most horrible thing is, i figured everyday my dark eye circles seem to get much more obvious as the day pasts. and i want to get some sleep now.

oh yeah, if u haven't noticed, i loaded the whole of Evanescence - The Open Door album on the side of the page. go and listen to tracks Lacrymosa and Sweet Sacrifice.

as for now, sweet dreams everybody.

2007-01-16T17:11:00.000+08:00

i seem to have a very strong affection towards felines.

every morning and evening, when i go and come back from school, i will never fail to spot these cute little critters crawling around the void deck and near the staircase area.

there is this particular white cat that will sleep on the staircase steps in the early hours of the morning. its stomach will be facing upwards and its legs will retract to this rather awkward position. it is so cute lah.

sometimes i would even inadvertently step on its tail, and all it does was to spring up swiftly, look at you with those adorable eyes, and give a soft "meow".

well i've seen a couple of kittens around too. those really really puny kittens that can barely walk or balance themselves. i bought them milk from the nearby provision store and there they go gulping it up. in less than a minute the milk was all gone.

next time i'll take a few pictures and post them up. stay tuned. =)

2007-01-14T19:08:00.000+08:00

well i guess i'm Evanescence-crazy and Lithium-crazy. but seriously, Evanescence is talented, especially Amy Lee. her voice is "woah".

anyway enjoy.

Lithium - Evanescence

2007-01-14T12:33:00.000+08:00

what i can shout out now is,

SHUT THE HELL UP.

these construction works that has been going on every single place i go is irritating me. it seems like every single land that i step foot on needs to be repaired. and i don't even weight that much to destroy land. am i radioactive? or do i have shockwaves coming out of my body?

the first construction work that i've encountered was yesterday. at my grandparents' place, near boon keng area. after buying breakfast, i settled down on the sofa with a novel in my hand, reading intently. Then, IT began. there was a loud and piercing (i don't know how) drilling noise coming from upstairs. It seems like it's just directly above me.

I couldn't take it. I moved from the living room to my grandparents' bedroom, thinking that it couldn't possibly follow. but then i was wrong. the loud and piercing noise came again, directly above me. This time it was more intense.

was it targetting me?

well, that time i'd wisen up. i decided to go somewhere further. The kitchen - my last resort. i placed a stool under myself and sat there. although i could still hear the drilling noises, it was better than sitting right under it.

oh but i was wrong yet again. the noise could be under you. the drilling noise started once again. and this time it wasn't coming from upstairs. it was coming from the road, they were doing some road constructions.

gosh, the noise is coming from all directions. poor ears!

and now, sunday, 1pm, i'm writing this entry under the torture of these construction drilling noises again. and mind you, i'm at my own house now, near hougang estate.

i'm gonna complain to Aljunied GRC, SCAL, SPCA (it's irritating my fishes too) and even MINDEF. i have got to check if there is an order to destroy, exterminate and vapourise me by making me go deaf first. argh. damn it. it's affecting my listening to the Evanescence CD.

2007-01-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

Lithium - Evanescence - (Available at the music players below)

Lithium, Don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, Don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow
Oh but God I want to let it go

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone
Couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show
Never wanted it to be so cold
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me

I can't hold on to me
Wonder what's wrong with me

Lithium, Don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, Don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow

Oh don't want to let it lay me down this time
Drown my will to fly
Here in the darkness I know myself
Can't break free until I let it go
Let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all
Anything is better than to be alone
And in the end I guess I had to fall
Always find my place among the ashes

I can't hold on to me
Wonder what's wrong with me

Lithium, Don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, Don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with you
Oh I'm gonna let it go

2007-01-12T21:49:00.001+08:00

today in band rehearsal we had somewhat a brainwashing session.

the concert master had asked us a few questions. we were supposed to close our eyes and raise up our hand if our answer was "yes". but occasionally when you opened your eyes , you could see people being doubtful and peeping all over the place.

the questions were somewhat expected.

"are you willing to sacrifice your time for the band?"

i didn't give it a second thought at that moment, i raised my hand, implying that i am willing to.

but now the second thought comes back, i think i had a little bit of regrets of what i said. i mean, from monday to friday, who would be willing to spend their time in school all day from 6.30am to 10pm? it's like an eat-sleep-band-study routine for two months.

i have to say, the practice periods were a little bit more than outrageous. yes, the schedules can be heavy, but it must be humane. giving it another thought, don't you think such a tightly packed schedule would cause the band members to fall sick because of insufficient rest? moreover, our studies have got to be considered too.

If it's like this , i think we're too busy to even organize ourselves properly.

Oh and today, during the bus ride ilshan and i took, we saw Mr Julian Teo, he got off somewhere near the ang mo kio estate.

what happened was, he gave me a tap on the shoulder. i was momentarily stunned when i saw him, and subconsciously , i blurted out a few words when he looked at me.

"oh.. hi julian..er, teo, mr.. teo"

and when he got off the bus ilshan and i looked at each other, completely flabbergasted.

what have i done! I'd just called the discipline master of sec 3s by his first name.

i just hope he didn't actually catch what i and we said (earlier) . gosh, the horror. moreover, we had just sat there, happily (and ignorantly) gossiping about some of our teachers at a rather loud volume, not knowing that the discipline master was just a mere few seats behind us.

My peaceful school life is over.

2007-01-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

i guess the rain really does make me feel calm and relaxed.

today i took yet another day off, because of the stomach-flu problems.

so what i did today was to lie on my bed, and listen to the sound of the raindrops while having a blanket covered over me.

the rain was going on and on. it stopped for a short while, and then it began to rain again. how i wished this would go on and on.

well, when it rains, i somehow have a clearer state of mind. i am aware of myself and my own surroundings. it somehow provokes me to think about things that i usually don't even bother to touch on.

could it be that i have a hidden past that had something to do with the rain, since i don't really recall what had happened to me during my toddler days.

hmm, i wonder.

2007-01-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

today i'm down with a stomach-flu. i took the day off school.

actually, the symptoms sort of arisen yesterday. during the orientation performance my stomach was growling and showing attitude. i had to run to the toilet several times.

well i'm in no mood to write now, still have the aches here and there. i guess i'll update formally next time.